tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62528980130302669512024-02-21T04:10:10.812-08:00Messy and WonderfulMessy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.comBlogger371125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-30700943528271487592014-08-01T08:12:00.001-07:002014-08-01T08:12:08.634-07:00part twoDarn blogger. Having the hardest time loading photos. So just text today.<br />
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I have tried to post about our day visiting the LWB Healing Homes, Mei Li's home orphanage, and our lunch with her foster family, but the photos won't load I'm having all kinds of difficulty, so I will keep trying.<br />
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In the meantime, we finally made it to Guangzhou!!! After boarding our plane, they closed the doors and we sat at the gate for two and a half hours. Can you say DELAY??? The kids were great, but poor Mei Li was so excited to fly up in the air to Guangzhou and she must have been wondering what the heck was going on.<br />
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When we landed she started yelling at the top of her lungs, "MAMA!!!! GUANGZHOU!!!!" "BABA!!!!! GUANGZHOU!!!!!" The people around us were chuckling and we took such delight in watching her enjoy her first plane ride.<br />
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I need to go to sleep because we have a full day tomorrow but I wanted to give a quick update on how Mei Li is doing.<br />
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She has made great progress in four days. We discovered that she was used to drinking Coke at every meal, eating lots of chocolate treats, and even acted surprised when we didn't hand her her own coffee at Starbucks. After all the caffeine left her system and she realized the horrible reality that Sweeney kids don't drink soda, she turned into a different child. She was less jumpy and aggressive and seemed calmer overall.<br />
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Her foster parents sure loved her. I would always rather a child without a forever family be indulged over neglected, but she will definitely have some adjusting to do in regards to her diet.<br />
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Secondly, she is a little-miss-bossy-pants. She likes to tell us all what to do and we call her "in octopus mode" when she wants something like a iPad or a television remote. Her determination to get her hands on these things is unbelievable. We have come a long way in just a few days helping her "look at Mama/Baba's eyes" and reinforcing that "Mama/Baba is in charge." She has realized that saying please and thank you get her much more of what she wants.<br />
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And that's a start.<br />
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She had some behavior yesterday that required us to put her in a "time in" in the chair in our hotel room so that she could get some control over her octopus arms and demanding behavior. This was a totally foreign concept to her and she did NOT like it one bit. She got out of the chair about 58 times and I just kept putting her back on it (she is really heavy) until finally she realized that the only way off the chair was Mama's way. I stayed close by and didn't draw it out too long, but she is starting to get the hang of things.<br />
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I don't mean to make it sound all bad. She is funny and affectionate and seems to have been well prepared for her adoption journey. She knows we are staying several days in Guangzhou before we go to America where she can finally meet her "Mei Mei" (little sister). I'm glad we have two weeks left of summer vacation and then dive right into school. She is SO smart - both of our guides have mentioned that she is way smarter than other six year olds. She seems to have a photographic memory. Tonight she told us that she is going to study hard and then go to Beijing University (China's Harvard) so that she can get a good job.<br />
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Alrighty then.<br />
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Not to sound arrogant at all, but I think a lot about her disrupted adoption last year. From what I know about the family, they did not have experience parenting a child her age. Kenyon and I both agree that if we had not already parented a variety of six year olds, we would definitely be in over our heads. She has a very strong personality, but we see great potential and are enjoying the bright ray of sunshine that she will bring to our family.<br />
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As we get to know her more, we know it will only get better. This morning after she woke up, she immediately hopped into bed between the two of us for an unexpected little snuggle. She loves to be tickled. I think the structure of school will be great for her. I don't know when her grief will hit her, but I know it hasn't fully registered with her yet. She still thinks this is a big fat vacation (except for the no Coke part) and I'm under no illusions. This will get harder before it gets easier.<br />
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That's all I have for tonight. Oh, except our guide here said the visa situation is all resolved so expects us to have no problems and leave on Thursday.Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-40188192301232103752014-07-29T01:44:00.004-07:002014-07-29T01:44:47.755-07:00gotchaThe day we had been waiting so long for arrived yesterday.<br />
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We crashed into bed after our long day of traveling and slept like three rocks through the night. Our body clocks woke us early and we enjoyed a full breakfast buffet at our hotel.<br />
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Our guide Ting Ting picked us up at 9:30 a.m. and our private van drove us to the civil affairs office where our daughter to-be was to arrive shortly after us. <br />
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Our last update several months ago was that Megan had no interest in being adopted. Who could blame her? She had been placed with her foster family when she was nine months old and the world revolved around her in that home. Fifteen months ago she endured a disrupted adoption when the family that came to China to adopt her changed their minds after spending 24 hours with her.<br />
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That would leave anyone skeptical about being adopted, much less a six year old.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baba waiting</td></tr>
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We only stood in the smoke filled office for about ten minutes, checking that both our documents and our cameras were ready for her arrival. We prepped Andrew for the fact that Megan would not be happy about leaving everything she knows and loves in order to join our family. The best example we could give our children is to try to imagine sending Lucas to live with a Chinese family if all he has ever known is to be with us.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Showing pictures of her other brothers and sister</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Immediately obsessed with screens</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The sillies</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">International language of bananas</td></tr>
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Without notice or drama, she came walking into the office with the assistant director of her home orphanage. She quickly pointed to each of us and recognized us by name "Mama" "Baba" and "Guh-Guh" (brother). She was happy and affectionate and fully informed.<br />
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Andrew was an awesome helper and quickly engaged her in the international language of silliness. We signed papers, took a picture, and we were out of there. Ting Ting took us back to the hotel and on the way we learned that Megan has never been swimming before and we went over a few sign language signals so that she could communicate if she was hungry, thirsty, sleepy, or had to use the bathroom.<br />
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We got back to our room and got changed to go give the hotel pool a try. She is bigger than I thought she would be. She is definitely a 6/7 in size, and I brought a lot of size fives. She is SOLID and weighs a few pounds shy of Andrew, who is nine years old. Her hair is really thick and I can't wait for it to grow out from the summer shave she received last month. There is no styling it or even keeping any bows or clips in it.<br />
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Her personality is as we expected. She is active, talkative, and we can tell that she has rarely been told "no" to this point. She told us that she brought some snacks for us, which was a small case of Kit-Kat type of candy bars. She gave us a lecture in Mandarin when later on in the night she wanted more and more but we had put them up out of reach.<br />
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She is OBSESSED with screens. Any time we take out our phone or iPad, her little hands are like magnets and it has been hard to reel her in to a normal level. I'm ready to lock any and all screens into our safe when we get home. Can you say detox?<br />
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As far as her adoption disruption, after a quick trip through Walmart to buy some pool floaties for her and some snacks, we can see how parents inexperienced with her age and adoption could quickly feel overwhelmed. She was all over the place, bossing, touching, running all over the place and not listening to the amateur Mandarin we were spouting off at her. "Firm and loving" is going to be our theme for this girl.<br />
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Many people have asked me about her medical need because it isn't obvious from her photos. We suspect that she has <a href="http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1251558-workup" target="_blank">Fibular Hemimelia</a>, but will wait for an official diagnosis when we get her to the orthopedic specialists at our Children's Hospital when we get home. She has a "lucky fin" of a left foot, and her left leg is shorter than her right.<br />
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She did great in the swimming pool for it being her first time and not knowing us or having any reason to trust us. My man and I, however, had a new experience of seeing each other in required swim caps for 100RMB. It was quite a sight.<br />
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We took a taxi to a noodle restaurant that other adoptive families had told us about and Megan chatted with the waiter about her preferences for dinner and we all enjoyed her choices. Andrew was hit by the onslaught of jet lag and nearly fell asleep at the table.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mom with chopsticks, daughter with fork</td></tr>
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After a long and dramatic process of trying to get a cab home, we finally made it and got our pj's on (too small again), brushed teeth (spitting out the toothpaste was new to her), and got settled into bed after our big happy day.<br />
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And then came the tears. With no notice, Megan just started sobbing and sobbing, harder and harder into her pillow and under her covers. Our hearts broke and we tried to comfort her. I planned to just stay and rub her back until she cried herself to sleep, but she suddenly turned over and (I thought she might hit me) gently pushed me with both hands and firmly told me in Mandarin that she wanted me to leave her alone.<br />
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I understood. I climbed into my bed just a foot away from her and listened to her cry until she had no more tears to shed.<br />
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As I thought about it, I was glad to see some real and normal emotion out of her. If she left her family of over six years and didn't look back, I would be more concerned and wonder about her attachment and grief.<br />
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We woke up on our first morning together to a happy girl that is always looking for guh-guh. We signed official adoption documents (first 24 hours is simply guardianship) today and then she responded to our guide's question about her desire to visit China again someday, "When I am older like Mama I can drive the car back to visit China."<br />
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Kinda like that....<br />
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<b>Random thoughts to close with:</b><br />
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<ul>
<li>She is super smart. She immediately learned what floor we are staying on and could watch and tell which elevator would get to us first based on what floor and direction they reported. She even remembered what floor the adoption office was on at the Civil Affairs building. She can tell when we are blocks away from our hotel.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li>She knows her brothers and sister by name and right away wanted to know where her sister was. They got to meet on FaceTime today and both seemed tickled to meet each other.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho9bbFL1v6sLv2H1qjwkb7tqnMuFIMZjgOjTtvQsG3VA7XYsXeiXQFU5jEcbHU_SasEVAn0rB7o44r72oYx4CD63o2Mn5iu8MLqKeJ-YoLyNf7PRSeYccOhGttXn96JdEjrKA2zS-xqts/s1600/IMG_1117.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho9bbFL1v6sLv2H1qjwkb7tqnMuFIMZjgOjTtvQsG3VA7XYsXeiXQFU5jEcbHU_SasEVAn0rB7o44r72oYx4CD63o2Mn5iu8MLqKeJ-YoLyNf7PRSeYccOhGttXn96JdEjrKA2zS-xqts/s1600/IMG_1117.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><br />
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<li>Yesterday afternoon my man and I both struggled with the very normal emotions of "what have we done to our family?" panic. I have felt this way when every child has been added to our family. I grieve for the stability of the status quo, but our wise adoption mentors warned us that this would happen and it is normal. By day two, we already feel it disappearing.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li>Megan Mei Li has an absolutely contagious laugh. It is unique and like nothing we have heard before. When she laughs, we all laugh.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li>We are confident that we will have to get in touch with our <a href="http://empoweredtoconnect.org/" target="_blank">"Inner Purvis"</a> to help her adjust to her new family and life.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li>We are praying for a mild diagnosis on her leg and that school will help her thrive with more structure and stability in her life.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li>We don't know her fully yet, but we love her and are in awe of how God brought us to her.</li>
</ul>
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<br />Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-22641493768255205092014-07-27T15:01:00.002-07:002014-07-27T15:01:27.862-07:00arrivedGood morning from the other side of the world! After many, many hours of traveling and connecting flight to flight, we made it to Hefei, Anhui.<br />
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We were thrilled to find our guide Ting Ting waiting for us as we exited baggage claim. She is a delightful young woman and I can tell already that we will get along great. She had our private van and driver waiting to take us to our hotel in this city of well over seven million people. Yes, it very much feels like New York City.<br />
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Ting Ting sat in the passenger section of the van with us as we were driven through the city. She had a very exciting update to give us about our daughter. She found herself in Megan Mei Li's town just the day before by "coincidence" (not) as she guided another foreign family on a tour of Huainan. She knew we were arriving, so she took the time to meet Megan's foster family, and interview Megan about her feelings toward being adopted by an American family.<br />
<br />
All along, we have been expecting a very ticked off six year old that doesn't want anything to do with us. Megan Mei Li has been with her foster family since she was nine months old. She has also endured a disrupted adoption just 16 months ago. She has every reason to want to stay where it is safe and she knows love.<br />
<br />
Our number one prayer for the last several months (other than the #loavesandfishes) has been for Megan Mei Li's adjustment. We asked that God would go before us and prepare her heart for the transition into our family.<br />
<br />
We are grateful that He did that partially through Ting Ting.<br />
<br />
She had a great report for us. Megan Mei Li guided Ting Ting through her red family photo album that we sent to her months ago. She bragged to Ting Ting as she pointed out, "This is my Mama. This is my Baba. I have brothers! I have a sister!" She seemed to be very excited about having a sister (although we know her brothers are going to be way more fun for her at this stage).<br />
<br />
We took a huge sigh of relief and fought off some tears of gratitude as we heard the story of Ting Ting's visit and looked at the 20+ pictures she took of Megan Mei Li's home and foster family. We never expected such wonderful news.<br />
<br />
The one piece of bad news Ting Ting had for us is that the orphanage director told the foster mother that she must not come to the hand off today. It was explained that they don't want Megan Mei Li to be upset by saying goodbye to her foster mother. We disagree and are still praying that we might be surprised to find her there. I really wanted to sit down and talk with her foster mom and give the matching lockets to them at the same time.<br />
<br />
At least Ting Ting thought to get all of the phone and email information for the foster family so that we can Skype and stay in touch.<br />
<br />
So, it is nearing six a.m. here in Hefei. Andrew was a complete trooper through our 22 hours of travel and we are so glad he is here with us. He is the only one still sound asleep in our room as my Beloved and I are awake and anxious for the day ahead (and maybe some breakfast).<br />
<br />
We miss the rest of our crew but with full cell service (thank you T-Mobile), we have been texting and hear that they are all doing well. Next post will be later today after our "Gotcha!"Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-59727148286581497492014-07-23T09:18:00.001-07:002014-07-23T09:26:25.864-07:00#loavesandfishes<div class="MsoNormal">
The Friday before Father’s Day I found myself in a quick phone
call with my college roommate who I don’t get to talk to often enough these
days. She dove right into asking
questions about our adoption process and how close we were to getting to be
able to travel and pick up our daughter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I confided in her my honest feelings, as always, and didn’t
hold back that I had a mental wall about how this adoption was going to
end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although we had paid thousands of dollars in fees along the way, I knew the end was not pretty. A few days earlier, I had totaled
our remaining dues ($7,400+) and imagined our travel costs (airline, hotel,
food, etc.), and saw that our adoption envelope had just over $9,200 in
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had been consistently living
below our means and sweeping money into the adoption envelope, but it clearly
wasn’t enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My husband and I had touched on the topic in a brief alone moment a week before that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t have an answer, neither did my
Beloved – there were no more extra funds coming in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We agreed to just pray about it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be honest, my faith was shallow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was approaching it as if I needed to come
up with a great idea, or succumb to the truth that we were going to have to
borrow money to complete our adoption.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile, I bravely decided to put my head in the sand and
not think about it at all.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After telling Carrie all of this in a much more
“blunt-because-you-know-me-so-well” fashion, she immediately turned it around
and said that she had been in a Bible study recently and felt like she needed
to share what she learned with me….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Laurie, our God is
the God of loaves and fishes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t
know how this story will end, but HE DOES.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You need to turn to Him and commit to Him what you have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will provide.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been a Christian for a long time, so I’d like to say
that she brought me out of the pit and I saw the light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that the Word of God is truth, but I
will be honest and say that I felt good for about 90 seconds and then I went
back to hiding my head in the sand, sending up some SOS prayers, and ignoring that nagging nervous feeling of
helplessness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next morning, I was drinking my coffee and scrolling
through my Facebook feed when and I jumped over to <a href="http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2014/06/15/loaves-fishes-and-bedrooms/" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;"><b>read this wonderful post</b></span></a>
written by an adoptive dad (Father’s Day weekend, remember?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoyed the fact that he made decisions a lot
like my husband does and took comfort in his personal experience of not knowing how
his adoptions were going be able to work out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then he ended his post with this from Mark chapter
six:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><i>35 By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples
came to him. “This is a remote place,” they said, “and it’s already very late.
36 Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and
villages and buy themselves something to eat.”<br />
37 But he answered, “You give them something to eat.” They said to him, “That
would take more than half a year’s wages! Are we to go and spend that much on
bread and give it to them to eat?”<br />
38 “How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.” When they found out,
they said, “Five—and two fish.”…<br />
41 Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave
thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to distribute
to the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. 42 They all ate and
were satisfied, 43 and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken
pieces of bread and fish.</i></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I immediately went to my Beloved and told him that I had no
idea what was going on, but I got the sense that we needed to incorporate the
idea of loaves and fishes into our prayers about Megan’s adoption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He agreed and that was that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mom and I spoke on the phone while she was staying with my brother helping his family as they welcomed their fourth sweet baby into their family. She happened to mention that my sister in-law donated a bunch of items to an adoption fundraiser yard sale that wound up raising about $3,000. I told her briefly of our dilemma (head out of the sand just to peek at the bright light for a moment), and she suggested that I think about hosting a yard sale myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Honestly, $3,000 wasn’t going to solve our problem, and we were seriously considering me traveling alone to adopt Megan. That would be like Kenyon missing the birth of his child. I really wanted to bring one of the older boys to help her adjustment as well - but that wasn't going to happen from this point of view.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With time running out, I went back into my mental hiding.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday night is family dinner night at our house and my
non-biological sisters who live close by come for dinner every week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unprompted, that Sunday night one of my
sisters brought me two boxes of clothes, shoes, and accessories and told me to
take what I wanted and pass the rest along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I put them in the garage and thought nothing of it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Monday morning arrives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Monday through Friday my Beloved (the morning person) gets up at
zero-dark-thirty and runs five miles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
then comes back, gets showered and dressed, and brings me (NOT the morning
person OR a runner) a delightful mug of coffee to wake me from my dreamy slumber
so that we can talk for a few minutes before he leaves for his long work day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I rolled over and cracked an eyelid that Monday morning and
saw my coffee on my nightstand, but my Beloved was nowhere to be seen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The house was quiet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I reached for my coffee AND my Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had been too many days and I was feeling a
little desperate.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgioGykKfC7EX4z-fDAw7_iKMWW6fM6x6aaKpzm8fWY_Zmd_3JsKFDslRbzDoMJcVXjfbbfoAAZJ1dLrYRcBcXq0sZRSz-FC3e6TmEZjjyCk_MR0tsp7lqIDC_CZK2KWnEWyB_0_UZBAa0/s1600/IMG_1006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgioGykKfC7EX4z-fDAw7_iKMWW6fM6x6aaKpzm8fWY_Zmd_3JsKFDslRbzDoMJcVXjfbbfoAAZJ1dLrYRcBcXq0sZRSz-FC3e6TmEZjjyCk_MR0tsp7lqIDC_CZK2KWnEWyB_0_UZBAa0/s1600/IMG_1006.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The reading plan</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I read my Bible, generally I follow a 10 chapter per
day reading plan that was popular a while back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I keep a chart in the back of my Bible and always just pick up where I
left off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 10 chapters take me all
over the Bible and I really like the variety.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would love to say it had only been a few days since I my
last quiet reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to say
it had been several days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’m being
honest here – it had been MANY days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is summer vacation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Five kids are home
with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Days are long and I have little
to no alone time that overlaps with any valuable brain cells.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked to my chart and just dug in…..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I nearly dropped my Bible on the floor after the first
few sentences of the first chapter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It couldn’t be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I quickly realized that my 10 chapter reading plan that I
could have been reading two weeks ago or two weeks from now had me starting at
John chapter six.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS4jwDcLqNUBNTCg963cPNV1cCUuh_wuSegRo_rsUYjVX96zOxb1hAkVIcEwuAyeXzhTuBaMPMEe3SR34UKYImGKIb5k7DESpFWpG4oVifXViev7kxVYeSkehGhjVeGpd6nDjSzsONOL4/s1600/IMG_1008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS4jwDcLqNUBNTCg963cPNV1cCUuh_wuSegRo_rsUYjVX96zOxb1hAkVIcEwuAyeXzhTuBaMPMEe3SR34UKYImGKIb5k7DESpFWpG4oVifXViev7kxVYeSkehGhjVeGpd6nDjSzsONOL4/s1600/IMG_1008.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I read it through, all the while feeling the humility that
the God of creation gave me the gift of knowing He was right there with me
(even with my head in the sand).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
The God
who put the stars in place and knitted me in my mother’s womb chose to
encourage me by these <u>three</u> linked messages inside of a long weekend.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knows the end.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">John 6:5 </span></sup></i></b><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></sup></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming
toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people
to eat?” </span></i><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">6 </span></sup></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He asked
this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After allowing myself to soak up the story, I texted my
husband (and Carrie) to tell him of my reading that morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then asked him how he would feel about
putting my full effort behind a yard sale where we could accept donated items
and hope for a big turnout to fill the gap.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He agreed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">John 6:8 </span></sup></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another of
his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, </span></i><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">9 </span></sup></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Here is a
boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go
among so many?”</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had two boxes of donated items and some random things
around the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not nearly enough for
a sale myself, but that day I decided on a date and put out the word of our
plan.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I fasted in honor of what God was about to do in our
lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t fast very much, but it
made me realize how much more I need to pray.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbmW6-NqEt-7t2i668VdyFiv0dWTIYXdQsBgVAiRLT6ts9_i3q7ivOa9ysnfKia6CMUo4VYdTaIrBNals0r41KuSNj35hoWb-TrMG0HDuNTR7D1iS4BDP60NVBXi5KvukCrf-6wY36x9w/s1600/IMG_0769.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbmW6-NqEt-7t2i668VdyFiv0dWTIYXdQsBgVAiRLT6ts9_i3q7ivOa9ysnfKia6CMUo4VYdTaIrBNals0r41KuSNj35hoWb-TrMG0HDuNTR7D1iS4BDP60NVBXi5KvukCrf-6wY36x9w/s1600/IMG_0769.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a>Friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers brought
donations – both small and large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had
clothes, shoes, household items, toys, furniture, appliances – you name it and
it was arriving almost daily.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Several people had their own yard sales and then let us come
and pick up everything that didn’t sell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Friends would do this and then convince others (complete strangers to
us) to do the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our garage quickly filled up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU2cqP956fZGHEnSWeps_YgDfBh5vPpK-aGcQ41i2o3gf22EMZDXc9Mxb_Zxyr9gqSX9QARr5D53wSax8f0EpoHzvkqeasvXW0CxW_NlWIPHzA8AexoGojbHv4fu3lpXkE0cXmC1EdsCI/s1600/IMG_0941.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU2cqP956fZGHEnSWeps_YgDfBh5vPpK-aGcQ41i2o3gf22EMZDXc9Mxb_Zxyr9gqSX9QARr5D53wSax8f0EpoHzvkqeasvXW0CxW_NlWIPHzA8AexoGojbHv4fu3lpXkE0cXmC1EdsCI/s1600/IMG_0941.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a>My dear friend and mentor came weekly to sort all the
clothes and smaller items so that we would have less of a challenge setting up
during the sale.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We listed bigger items on our local online classifieds and
made nearly $900 before the yard sale weekend even arrived.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not only that, but my long distance friends started sending
checks in lieu of yard sale items.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Generous checks from people that I know for a fact are not loaded with
cash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Envelope after envelope, I would
open and tearfully read through a heartfelt note of LOVE for our family and our
soon-to-be daughter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had lunch one day with a new friend of mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is a season ahead of me in life and I
have come to depend on her for wisdom and thoroughly enjoy every moment I have
with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She and her husband are some
of the most generous people I know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She encouraged me to not only
apply for visas for my Beloved and myself, but for one of our older boys as
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hesitated because I always want
to be a good steward of the money God gives us, but a week later, I sent three
applications to the Chinese Consulate in Washington D.C..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAS-g08_eNOKOy3SOjsQVzrBeBcng-9rK_sKUDe43wPEW0NwYngLUyIW9p-TTb8N4T2HRcLj15wuWgnyn3wDhc9NRqYpHlcf-I3RuA91-dvKl-F8UEfRZUM8kmIQfd6JOFZ35HqoTthLM/s1600/IMG_0953.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAS-g08_eNOKOy3SOjsQVzrBeBcng-9rK_sKUDe43wPEW0NwYngLUyIW9p-TTb8N4T2HRcLj15wuWgnyn3wDhc9NRqYpHlcf-I3RuA91-dvKl-F8UEfRZUM8kmIQfd6JOFZ35HqoTthLM/s1600/IMG_0953.JPG" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another dear college friend stopped for a couple of days
during a long road trip during the week before the yard sale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is artistic and has her own experiences
with loaves and fishes in her life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
stayed up until 1 a.m. one night making 20+ poster board signs for our sale.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Somewhere in there, we found out that my husband received a
commission check that he didn’t expect (Remember the Excel spreadsheet
guy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows every dollar that is due
to him, so this could only be God).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With
this check and the yard sale, I was starting to get the sense that this was
coming together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I texted the friend who told me to apply for all the visas
and she said: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Isn’t that just like God
to meet your need? I wouldn't be surprised if you have some leftover.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One night, as the big sale drew near, my Beloved got to
catch up with a close friend of his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
friend and his family are a complete gift to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We love them genuinely and dearly, but our
friendship may not have blossomed if it were not for a terrible tragedy that
struck their family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have watched God
create beauty through ashes and our faith has grown through the process of pain
and slow healing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This friend insisted on paying for one of our plane tickets.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He surely had
no idea what he was offering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plane
tickets are between two and three t.h.o.u.s.a.n.d. dollars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give him an easy out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was fully
aware and all.in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yard sale weekend arrives.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuoNwkilcxKHEd8H5IOevSQwC76t3DRtBXRol1d11G2c21p6EOmWKXtoXDs8ODys31mtJHkD-veCv7i1vgFIrMejRcG6-sQYX9IgewaObBVzOl6FBWTAWm-1l0bLH4Mffpxag3zUdRak8/s1600/IMG_0968.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuoNwkilcxKHEd8H5IOevSQwC76t3DRtBXRol1d11G2c21p6EOmWKXtoXDs8ODys31mtJHkD-veCv7i1vgFIrMejRcG6-sQYX9IgewaObBVzOl6FBWTAWm-1l0bLH4Mffpxag3zUdRak8/s1600/IMG_0968.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our friends and neighbors came to help us manage the
inventory and sales.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One friend that I
hadn’t seen in years insisted on being with me for the first five hours of day
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t realize until late the
night before what a gift (and necessity) that was.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t even ask her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was given the opportunity to share our story many times
and just felt complete joy and peace that no matter how it turned out, God had
this covered.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Day one:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>$1,150<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Day two: $1,260<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
End of day two and my dear mentor and I are starting the
clean up process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went inside to make
us a cold drink and returned to help her pack up the clothes for the Big
Brothers/Big Sisters truck that was arriving shortly. We were high-fiving the success of the sale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My Beloved was off taking down all the signs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_MJXJcOWpUwf1ylAFy4E6FQidrPXWTLH8d4Il-C_Xhk_RZGsPJ0FLVwX_2A_Iw_BIepI85Fltf53fxCrLbWZT3jQR-IFl-xbD-97adp7SRcHGJcnHilXVZ04bZYQspubGko4O23Wf5q0/s1600/IMG_0969.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_MJXJcOWpUwf1ylAFy4E6FQidrPXWTLH8d4Il-C_Xhk_RZGsPJ0FLVwX_2A_Iw_BIepI85Fltf53fxCrLbWZT3jQR-IFl-xbD-97adp7SRcHGJcnHilXVZ04bZYQspubGko4O23Wf5q0/s1600/IMG_0969.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>One woman was in the driveway with her two children walking
the aisles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked out of the house
with two drinks in my hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In passing,
I thanked them for coming and told her kids to fill a box for $1.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There were no other shoppers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I handed Pati her drink and the anonymous woman walked up to
me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you Laurie?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes I am.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Shaking my hand) “I’m Lynn.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lynn handed me a folded check.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Lynn, do I know you?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, you do not know me.” (as I’m opening the check)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEj5yqC4c7FxiTFtYielX-6yU2efSl5XL5eC32FFCiU376EfFoPkFRLovgmw3VKept9FRwqbEuQaH6c6z8LTaVOm-L0YC4EGGmysiKZbzBtXcZ8Vl0qhyphenhyphenTslCS3BJ0fkZ6aQd0sItZqIQ/s1600/IMG_0974.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEj5yqC4c7FxiTFtYielX-6yU2efSl5XL5eC32FFCiU376EfFoPkFRLovgmw3VKept9FRwqbEuQaH6c6z8LTaVOm-L0YC4EGGmysiKZbzBtXcZ8Vl0qhyphenhyphenTslCS3BJ0fkZ6aQd0sItZqIQ/s1600/IMG_0974.jpg" height="152" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point my tears are falling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lynn is walking away from me saying something
about having their own adoption story, but it is a complete blur because I
can’t believe what just happened.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I follow her, mumbling something about the words thank you
seeming inadequate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrap my arms
around her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She hugs me back but seems
determined to get to her car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
doesn’t even call her kids to the car – it’s like magic – they just know to get
in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And she drives away.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m still crying and I silently hand Pati the check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now she is crying too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She reminds me not to call my husband because
she wants to see his face when he sees the check.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I obey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> In shock, w</span>e continue to pack up things for the charity pick up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My husband returns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
show him the check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HE CRIES.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That night I returned to the story in John 6.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>John 6:12<sup><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: black; font-family: Arial;"><b> </b><i>“</i></span></sup><i><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When they
had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces
that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” </span><sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">13 </span></sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So they gathered them and
filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by
those who had eaten.”</span></i><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let nothing be wasted.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My first thought after receiving the $4,000 check and after I
returned to my right mind was, “I want to be the one dropping off the check!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had not yet booked our tickets, but we already started
talking about tracking every single penny through our <a href="https://goodbudget.com/how-it-works/#.U8_cw4BdU4Q" target="_blank"><span style="color: #38761d;"><b>electronic envelope system</b></span></a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any extra will not be wasted.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkKu8YMa0i6YsjpODUR6QprUj4_gs8uhvG9R7atdZlDNDq3WrCaQEN3o1ddtKqHjjLPzH86DKwtRTTMZs1LWybiPdAF_sT1VksKCqS1Z3qZ3_uH69xPZ-vs3a1KJmGWqa4DSW_MkQElwg/s1600/20140612_173550.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkKu8YMa0i6YsjpODUR6QprUj4_gs8uhvG9R7atdZlDNDq3WrCaQEN3o1ddtKqHjjLPzH86DKwtRTTMZs1LWybiPdAF_sT1VksKCqS1Z3qZ3_uH69xPZ-vs3a1KJmGWqa4DSW_MkQElwg/s1600/20140612_173550.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Donations continued to arrive via postal mail, PayPal, and
simply handed to us unexpectedly. One donation was mailed directly to our agency to reduce our fees still outstanding. A <a href="http://www.noondaycollection.com/ambassador-karamenning-2.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Noonday party</b></span></a> benefitted our adoption costs. We
think we are quite close to covering all of our travel costs with the
possibility of having “baskets to gather” after we are through.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have purchased three round trip airline tickets and a single one-way ticket. We have booked hotels and reserved a guide and transportation services. Megan's older brother Andrew will meet her in China and help us convince her that our family is pretty great and we are excited for her to be in it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have great plans to help another adoptive family or set
up a grant for a specific orphan that needs a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our cup is overflowing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Off to China we go…..<o:p></o:p></div>
Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-31156172329015547452014-07-02T09:02:00.001-07:002014-07-02T09:02:32.029-07:00the lettersI agonized over what to say to our new daughter and her dear foster mother (or China mama, as we refer to her). They had already been put through a disrupted adoption, so they had every reason to be skeptical about us and whether we would really be Megan Mei Li's forever family.<br />
<br />
Our letters arrived a couple of weeks prior to the care package and photo book.<br />
<br />
This is what I sent:<br />
<br />
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<i>Dear Foster Mom,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<i>We don’t know each
other yet, but we are soon to have one precious person in common.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That person is Rui Chun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are hoping to travel sometime in July or
August to adopt Rui Chun and I very much hope that you and I are able to meet
in person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We became aware of Rui Chun
through Love Without Boundaries and the more we learned about her, the more we
felt that she will be a great addition to our active family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will write a separate letter to Rui Chun to
describe our family and I am mailing a package today with a photo album for her
to see who we are.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhLMBiI9c6ERe-R7XlFcXSOpnXeChVte6HxrImZ0MJmv2QM-OLi_n7PH6Zq2CK0_nYTECIMl0uBaEscVLC2Wu_ntVhdyKXSMxwbZLI6kKfrZYO1tyNqBNbXg4uXVRlLE3bzxcms_8-oh8/s1600/HuaiRuiChun_IMG_1412.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhLMBiI9c6ERe-R7XlFcXSOpnXeChVte6HxrImZ0MJmv2QM-OLi_n7PH6Zq2CK0_nYTECIMl0uBaEscVLC2Wu_ntVhdyKXSMxwbZLI6kKfrZYO1tyNqBNbXg4uXVRlLE3bzxcms_8-oh8/s1600/HuaiRuiChun_IMG_1412.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a><i><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
wanted to write to you and express my great gratitude from one mother to
another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know it is going to be very
painful for Rui Chun to be adopted, for both you and Rui Chun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Words cannot express our great gratitude for
the loving care you have showered on Rui Chun for these years of her life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want you to know that we will never let her
forget you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will be a constant thread
of conversation in our home and we will encourage her to look at photos and
remember her precious time with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Additionally, I will be sure to send you periodic updates to let you
know how she is doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will always
be a mother to her and family to us.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><span style="mso-tab-count: 7;"> </span>With
great thanks,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"><i> Laurie
(Huai Rui Chun’s Adoptive Mom)</i></span><!--EndFragment-->
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Cambria;">And to our dear daughter:</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i>Dear Rui Chun,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn7AuqapoFKPkgJVoSCMiDUB133_-suq1bCl4BvjxIxc-N6jSYhVKhCf037-XWyJPr-MaoQIkKUxL8xjElnzV7LBGqJKzsrhc0rOB9OV50jxKdt64PCFsE4_7a2qu9l9IHUpnXN5YzP3o/s1600/HuaiRuiChun_IMG_1409.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn7AuqapoFKPkgJVoSCMiDUB133_-suq1bCl4BvjxIxc-N6jSYhVKhCf037-XWyJPr-MaoQIkKUxL8xjElnzV7LBGqJKzsrhc0rOB9OV50jxKdt64PCFsE4_7a2qu9l9IHUpnXN5YzP3o/s1600/HuaiRuiChun_IMG_1409.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a><i><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Greetings
from your family in America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
understand that you are called Mei Li, and if you prefer, we will call you
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are very excited to meet you
this summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are sending you some
gifts to share and enjoy with your friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We have included a photo album in the package that has some pictures of
you when you were little, with your foster mom, and with your friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We also put lots of photos of our family so
that you can become familiar with who we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In addition to Mama and Baba, you will have four older brothers (Brendan
-13, Cameron -11, Andrew -9, Lucas -7) and a little sister (Joya -4).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live in an area with lots of mountains and
we like to do lots of outside activities that we are sure you will enjoy as
well – even skiing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are some
pictures of your brothers and sister skiing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We included a picture of our blue house (we don’t have snow all the
time, but there is a lot in the winter), and there is a picture of our table we
eat at.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is also a picture of all
of the kids in our car and you can see there is a spot waiting for you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We
also included some conversation cards on a key ring, because we are sure that
you feel a little nervous about understanding each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will do our best!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are excited to come to you this summer and
we send our regards to your wonderful foster family.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="mso-tab-count: 7;"> </span>Warmly,</i><i style="line-height: 200%;"> The
Sweeney Family</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-68101712974278136002014-05-12T21:47:00.001-07:002014-05-12T21:47:08.414-07:00her face....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2eqyHTVBoRZOMyc0rbqAmGn2lKSNJ8kF5bAo3f-_nlZNwYvwhvha93xdjQae3iNgywfe3-MKsgFYu6sdMg-e8IqLsdaBC2HMr4fsNH2BddX8AKCmRHTHHr-oq6G7OYf4lNI-PGfF1zjk/s1600/Huai+Rui+Chun_Rachel_20131006_IMG3282.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2eqyHTVBoRZOMyc0rbqAmGn2lKSNJ8kF5bAo3f-_nlZNwYvwhvha93xdjQae3iNgywfe3-MKsgFYu6sdMg-e8IqLsdaBC2HMr4fsNH2BddX8AKCmRHTHHr-oq6G7OYf4lNI-PGfF1zjk/s1600/Huai+Rui+Chun_Rachel_20131006_IMG3282.jpg" height="640" width="456" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-21950636130813689502014-04-24T15:32:00.000-07:002014-04-24T15:32:13.259-07:00she's waiting<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well, the truth is that I really miss my blog. My time and energy after coming home from China in 2012 were poured into the exhausting task of Joya's adjustment, attachment, and healing (not to mention parenting five children).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then, I found my life's passion. I now fit in about 15 hours per week writing and advocating for China's orphans through<b> <a href="http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Love Without Boundaries</span></a></b>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Want to help orphans? Sponsor a baby at the <a href="http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/programs/healing-homes/healing-homes-locations/anhui-healing-home/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #45818e;">Anhui Healing Home</span></b></a>, where my hours are devoted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You won't regret it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now I need to let a cat out of a bag, or spill some beans, or burst at the seams....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We've been not so public this time, but we are going back to China this summer. We could not ignore that adoption has changed our entire family. Our eyes have been opened to the need, the pain, the opportunity to be used by God to love so tangibly. And we cannot ignore that we have room for one more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The kids were the first ones to ask when we were going to adopt again. Then my husband started asking me about it, which is very interesting seeing that I waited on him for years before we adopted the first time. Now all the men are leading the charge.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They prayed. He prayed. I prayed. We prayed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I had this feeling in my heart that Joya needed to stay the baby of our family. Aside from the fact that I'm turning the big 4-0 very soon, I just felt strongly that we should not adopt another baby. My man and I both feel broken for the children that have waited for a family for too long and are overlooked because they are no longer cute little babies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We looked at files and prayed about different older children before we even started one step of the actual adoption paper chase. Not one worked out. We clearly had the doors close on us and I thought once or twice that we would stay a family of seven.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then last fall, a child we already knew about came across our paths again. Her adoption was disrupted (meaning she was chosen but her adoption was never completed) and we were sure that she would be chosen again in no time. Five months passed and we found out that she still didn't have a family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We asked lots of questions and were given loads of information about her. We communicated with people who have met her as well as people who have adopted children of similar age and situation. We prayed that God would shut the door if she wasn't to be a Sweeney. With each new piece of information, we could not find where the door even budged and inch.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So here we are, six months later. We have completed all the paperwork and received a "pre-approval" from the Chinese government. As soon as tomorrow morning, we could wake up to the official LOA (Letter of Acceptance), which means we are officially matched to her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And then you may see her face. But until then......</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEokRpDjl0C6OC8psnfw71xX7M7-gM6n7gb1PjrvszoHBrpfW2y4JCu7zHUZN_8DllqSNhcjs3rkioW9IcEq5s_EZ4nUj2_ipi-mBnUeZ4f4Fs0HTwTZ2KKa40Dbm5Geqw07S1DYdRl0/s1600/Sweeney6a.jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEEokRpDjl0C6OC8psnfw71xX7M7-gM6n7gb1PjrvszoHBrpfW2y4JCu7zHUZN_8DllqSNhcjs3rkioW9IcEq5s_EZ4nUj2_ipi-mBnUeZ4f4Fs0HTwTZ2KKa40Dbm5Geqw07S1DYdRl0/s1600/Sweeney6a.jpg.jpg" height="400" width="275" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-5511698235970290012013-07-16T09:36:00.000-07:002013-07-16T10:33:38.341-07:00my lovesThere is some sweetness to this season of life that I don't ever want to forget. Daily I am exhausted by the effort it takes to do my job well. I realize that my kids have no idea how much effort it takes each day to pour into them all that I do (and I feel I am always lacking), but I don't want the days to flee so quickly that I forget the treasures that pass through my moments each day.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFBYrFQXnc58hx1yK0Ra7ChyphenhyphenGEa3L4HP4lcJ1pjx83ZDzlpGOl6tYJPqH6xe9L1cAetfozj2WSM4GjDsEX5faHmj9kzK6I4QRc8uhGvfABKb9ldtY3k5Tf4UBo2mLz3n3rkMP-m9Pi7IY/s1600/IMG_2165.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFBYrFQXnc58hx1yK0Ra7ChyphenhyphenGEa3L4HP4lcJ1pjx83ZDzlpGOl6tYJPqH6xe9L1cAetfozj2WSM4GjDsEX5faHmj9kzK6I4QRc8uhGvfABKb9ldtY3k5Tf4UBo2mLz3n3rkMP-m9Pi7IY/s320/IMG_2165.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last day of 6th, 4th, 2nd, and Kindergarten 2013</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ol>
<li>My eldest son, at twelve years old and going into seventh grade, will often stop in front of me mid-morning (arms stretched wide) and say, "I don't think I got a hug today!" No matter what pre-teen hormonal episode we might have been through already, how could I NOT hug that kid? Priceless, and I will surely return the sentiment when he stops initiating on his own.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9TzRRY9I-26PU63JAELvNY1ABOlXRN33U7JuhgVpbrT5f5lndsSbPg6EixVVDepGi1WvD_9Too1MOhLfOc-gwgLnUrv0PPC9UA7zBrkeyHgEqQgj2WoZWfxqCgijNtuY7s7NxMBJa2qo/s1600/IMG_2254.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9TzRRY9I-26PU63JAELvNY1ABOlXRN33U7JuhgVpbrT5f5lndsSbPg6EixVVDepGi1WvD_9Too1MOhLfOc-gwgLnUrv0PPC9UA7zBrkeyHgEqQgj2WoZWfxqCgijNtuY7s7NxMBJa2qo/s320/IMG_2254.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A huggable kid for sure.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ld2KCzQKX-hFjbrWZAJcfIiEKdp-5PntREK-ks0U8NUp265I7hgX92bdbqA0jCv1OMd9uCF8KpHkGNMAKFnNonlLx0_BxY39PqYT61rczG8MrimKSqGufWjdQgeq_dEocZeosASeVZI/s1600/IMG_2172.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ld2KCzQKX-hFjbrWZAJcfIiEKdp-5PntREK-ks0U8NUp265I7hgX92bdbqA0jCv1OMd9uCF8KpHkGNMAKFnNonlLx0_BxY39PqYT61rczG8MrimKSqGufWjdQgeq_dEocZeosASeVZI/s320/IMG_2172.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My big kids have been helpful this summer.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</li>
<li>My #2 son, who particularly has a gift with younger children, will jump right in when I'm overwhelmed with baby sister's moments of panic, fear, or emotional outburst. He is quick to engage her and divert her attention from whatever she is consumed with at that crisis moment. Today I was with them at the library and I really didn't think I would make it out WITH books but WITHOUT a meltdown from her sudden, unexplainable panic. He jumped in by grabbing a book that she chose and said, "Come over here and Sauce-Sauce will read you this book." She willingly followed and my heart was warmed by his awareness and generosity to share our burden for her. I'm sure he will be using this gift his entire life for great purposes.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_FYbXAoc0KC1dKtzXS0a4l8jA5u2MsTYgACxvjbw42VLhGBVx7NuW4bYSSIuKrVLVemYa-GupaOEGWXY4vLjn1G2S48xbMeK1x8bCBqjk2ACrM5uc_Tkv3mX33oXMyOFgRXQvo5eiXw/s1600/IMG_2275.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_FYbXAoc0KC1dKtzXS0a4l8jA5u2MsTYgACxvjbw42VLhGBVx7NuW4bYSSIuKrVLVemYa-GupaOEGWXY4vLjn1G2S48xbMeK1x8bCBqjk2ACrM5uc_Tkv3mX33oXMyOFgRXQvo5eiXw/s400/IMG_2275.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.666666984558105px;">Sauce saving the day.<br />
<div>
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</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCkWU0CKXLMGLqTdIV6p5Tg_meQSidKzVnCvYcJureq7ReILBhq8i7pJ5mymmXZTqDJZUM3O-PykbtSMc36UdSEOhxvDuvzT_kQBiqtmql9Y9Z0pvt6lVZKXuz38zoLgzH3U5g6WOLoU/s1600/IMG_2148.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCkWU0CKXLMGLqTdIV6p5Tg_meQSidKzVnCvYcJureq7ReILBhq8i7pJ5mymmXZTqDJZUM3O-PykbtSMc36UdSEOhxvDuvzT_kQBiqtmql9Y9Z0pvt6lVZKXuz38zoLgzH3U5g6WOLoU/s400/IMG_2148.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Always sharing and caring for her.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</li>
<li>My rockstar #3 son, at eight and one half years old is our resident peacemaker. He is me in male-form. His radar immediately picks up on pain or discord. He is a prayer warrior for any loved one in need. He also has his dad's knack for neatness. He regularly leads the charge and picks up slack in the cleaning and organizing department in this messy family of seven. Feel like snuggling? Need a hug and a kiss and a pep talk? This is your guy.<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkCEEmcpyj2xkt-I3HXJ6xcBT-117iZTYKzpYZPuIWKVOZf5oGSyQt9fjCIyGSsoXHd9_KFdU3kjWZIVqbpcE1KaKz9nIr62zlUXaMLB83xhNBk8NYXHLsHAkG2ivz-vKah_g1r-3KbMc/s1600/IMG_1829.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkCEEmcpyj2xkt-I3HXJ6xcBT-117iZTYKzpYZPuIWKVOZf5oGSyQt9fjCIyGSsoXHd9_KFdU3kjWZIVqbpcE1KaKz9nIr62zlUXaMLB83xhNBk8NYXHLsHAkG2ivz-vKah_g1r-3KbMc/s400/IMG_1829.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Creative, sweet and organized.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie-gjOOOtfEbrcoXtsXXKD4-ellePX-O1a5CXMt2Hz3jn-keFgqP3LhhyphenhyphenOvTiDOwTHKDGWzeq9YoUsoICja5_qZUkiJsSSqQycCkvw5o2LKUSURQMXQhtsLcYxIox1JotVTsYM6zrc9jQ/s1600/IMG_1508.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie-gjOOOtfEbrcoXtsXXKD4-ellePX-O1a5CXMt2Hz3jn-keFgqP3LhhyphenhyphenOvTiDOwTHKDGWzeq9YoUsoICja5_qZUkiJsSSqQycCkvw5o2LKUSURQMXQhtsLcYxIox1JotVTsYM6zrc9jQ/s320/IMG_1508.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The snuggler.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</li>
<li>Oh, this six year old. How can he be six???? I'm aching just from the memory of my LAST wonderful childbirth. He entered into our world wonderfully and has marked each day since with pure delight. His smiles just light up the room and his humor and "go with the flow" attitude is very much under-appreciated. How impressively he has taken on being a big brother to an "instant" two year old - never getting to experience the days of overlooking a baby sitting in a bouncy seat. "I love you more mom!" is one of his regular expressions and he won't believe me that it is really I who love him the very most.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDhkf2VMK8YnfCrFvLBrkekHexVoCMcN4xpfj3DdjbAebhu_kToi3rsUh9pPjSpWpbiu9UlHbhof4k23GW55AqmffIX5yY9HuAT7cMtfBx64tS2JS2gW14RzJ1ocAv2LUNbW5MWYzjpmE/s1600/IMG_2223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDhkf2VMK8YnfCrFvLBrkekHexVoCMcN4xpfj3DdjbAebhu_kToi3rsUh9pPjSpWpbiu9UlHbhof4k23GW55AqmffIX5yY9HuAT7cMtfBx64tS2JS2gW14RzJ1ocAv2LUNbW5MWYzjpmE/s400/IMG_2223.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Birthday boy on his sixth birthday.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikH8SQWxSvrYz0O7kzkWWBFVrxvNahM_XnnpLAnpMiDpewddbBkJGOa5DuUd4YOWTpASEzbVNxUpPSd71hfpzh2LGVbmCsNVP35LsQqGTn-Csqi4wyNK95i6eXgkdZGndL4Jmy8VR3Jw/s1600/IMG_2219.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikH8SQWxSvrYz0O7kzkWWBFVrxvNahM_XnnpLAnpMiDpewddbBkJGOa5DuUd4YOWTpASEzbVNxUpPSd71hfpzh2LGVbmCsNVP35LsQqGTn-Csqi4wyNK95i6eXgkdZGndL4Jmy8VR3Jw/s320/IMG_2219.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.666666984558105px;">A smile that lights up a room.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</li>
<li>This girl..... at three and a half years old, has felt and wrestled with more than most of us do in our first decades. I am constantly impressed with her fire inside - although it causes her "fight, flight, or freeze" response to so many situations that we consider ordinary, she continues to learn and adapt, little by little. We adapt as well. How much more I now see into her soul when she makes "the face," indicating that she is not sure how this moment will play out in her life story. I have learned to draw her close, to teach and not reprimand, and to always lean on grace, because I did not witness her first 26 months of life, therefore, I must rebuild carefully. She cracks us up with her expressions, "owadare" (underwear), "I tumin' mom! (I am coming mom!), "I wike-a da fwim fwim" (I like to swim), and of course "Lellow tar! I on Mom's team!" (Yellow car! ...). She is a tough cookie with a big heart that is grafting into our family more each day - and we all adore her through thick and thin. She has changed our family for the better in a way that was impossible without her.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiku2QcpjNuMgEQx_067x5OdQ1AesNzT7TvVt7pL0UVq85cwEnC8ZYDVmaW6Nn6UOlFYFuZulE-BZt-8JsRd-5uVPqAxmXAprlNAkBZWOvUGtlqrMsuQKPKf1p2mzify39P9ucC1e647DY/s1600/IMG_2207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiku2QcpjNuMgEQx_067x5OdQ1AesNzT7TvVt7pL0UVq85cwEnC8ZYDVmaW6Nn6UOlFYFuZulE-BZt-8JsRd-5uVPqAxmXAprlNAkBZWOvUGtlqrMsuQKPKf1p2mzify39P9ucC1e647DY/s320/IMG_2207.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She loves to be close to mama.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy7-ld4Vi2k5zj5mo-Dl_m3JW6ak60pIWQL_CctmOym6za3ooDUU1007w8Viipk8iW52VJjOB-MzZG0doTgvrr4vDdV9cdZgY0CrKffp7vpdi6J-j9bhx7yfUKykVlqRqFFUnYES_ehTg/s1600/IMG_2232.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy7-ld4Vi2k5zj5mo-Dl_m3JW6ak60pIWQL_CctmOym6za3ooDUU1007w8Viipk8iW52VJjOB-MzZG0doTgvrr4vDdV9cdZgY0CrKffp7vpdi6J-j9bhx7yfUKykVlqRqFFUnYES_ehTg/s320/IMG_2232.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She excels at any sport she tries.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</li>
<li>My man... this man of mine. I could say so much but will only say that we have come through a season that was painful, difficult, and messy. He has purposefully risen above the mess, sorted out the details, and led us out to the other side with wisdom and gentleness. He always strives to be a better spouse, parent, and Christ follower and inspires me to do the same. I could not imagine this adventure without him. He is my rock and I'm grateful for him.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhKUix3aPE7rUlFrazqvhXnCDTSMz8LfR6qFghAdIDf__PMw276RJf_e1F9EQ0hD7DNcKJssjopnJCTw3PXCUqai6Lrnpp8ThiBUactTcIUY_nqE5z8Q20qhQ1f-vPKcOcCc1phAWC1Pg/s1600/IMG_2257.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhKUix3aPE7rUlFrazqvhXnCDTSMz8LfR6qFghAdIDf__PMw276RJf_e1F9EQ0hD7DNcKJssjopnJCTw3PXCUqai6Lrnpp8ThiBUactTcIUY_nqE5z8Q20qhQ1f-vPKcOcCc1phAWC1Pg/s320/IMG_2257.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grateful.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</li>
</ol>
Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-3777620157618891922013-04-27T14:27:00.000-07:002013-04-27T14:27:13.918-07:00sunshine is good for a mama's soulIf you don't know this by now, we live in a mountain ski town, which is awesome. We trade the luxury of many outdoor activities for a very long winter. In fact, our school district has the latest spring break that I know of.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmqHnLEz5rmAjH1dJXhN8hlsiNUIdLBsG2CNk5dDg2SHII7maRoLengPSS2TLQdk21PktLqwJAi6fd0g4JvSSNpeBflKPjVBhP-ez17Pj9hTzrVKpgdO2ahMJ0YwZWcMEQbX_LDdtiWws/s1600/photo+(6).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmqHnLEz5rmAjH1dJXhN8hlsiNUIdLBsG2CNk5dDg2SHII7maRoLengPSS2TLQdk21PktLqwJAi6fd0g4JvSSNpeBflKPjVBhP-ez17Pj9hTzrVKpgdO2ahMJ0YwZWcMEQbX_LDdtiWws/s320/photo+(6).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Road trip!!! The big guys are hiding in the back seat.</td></tr>
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Knowing how brutal the season of Spring is on our mental state, we have been looking forward to a trip south over spring break where the heat can permeate our pores and give us enough hope to last us until mid June, which is when we can safely count on the end of snow until Autumn arrives in September.<br />
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One of the perks of my husband's dizzying travel schedule for work is that he is platinum or diamond status when it comes to airline and hotel points. Let's just say we fully dipped into that pool of points and are enjoying a beautiful villa for the week.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi29CyeHh7xzoprsla0m_mmfdaHVs4jRaywykbZRjDyiNTXeC6fQRJpMvhsaA5XAhyjzYwWkSGPqSlZdcrbNENDyGzzOPkUDmSLrTSrtnFhXlgOfaKUqh7o3W64N42vDNJhEJf0oKzD5lw/s1600/photo+(5).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi29CyeHh7xzoprsla0m_mmfdaHVs4jRaywykbZRjDyiNTXeC6fQRJpMvhsaA5XAhyjzYwWkSGPqSlZdcrbNENDyGzzOPkUDmSLrTSrtnFhXlgOfaKUqh7o3W64N42vDNJhEJf0oKzD5lw/s640/photo+(5).JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lake Meade prior to crossing the Hoover Dam at sunset</td></tr>
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We have cherished our week together. I have particularly enjoyed the breakfast buffet every morning. Our kiddos are getting used to filling their bellies with delicious food, and I immediately enjoyed the break from making it, serving it, and cleaning it up. ;-)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglI23qtdqvoCHE30xhS48M60vXZfz5XJtnNCsFRiMbqEGcNkcz6smQscThDAKu-U5F7Eeg7HUXVzXsTXKBHp_vyScCHs1WbJ2VNSgxl571A2l66Ad4tqOVwJ7whODdpcxYGaM-6x4wZTA/s1600/photo+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglI23qtdqvoCHE30xhS48M60vXZfz5XJtnNCsFRiMbqEGcNkcz6smQscThDAKu-U5F7Eeg7HUXVzXsTXKBHp_vyScCHs1WbJ2VNSgxl571A2l66Ad4tqOVwJ7whODdpcxYGaM-6x4wZTA/s640/photo+(4).JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Free breakfast is one of the biggest values we get from a hotel stay.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Each of our children is so unique from the others. Our eldest has always had his own streak of creativity. When he was little, we lovingly called him "Dumpster Diver" because he was often found recycling trash into new inventions. This morning he transformed his folded breakfast napkin into a boat. A friend referred to this as "Napkingami" - sounds about as unique as my boy is.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSNPy3CyZtLTu5TAo63HbxDB8M3gAO_H8ohveawje0bwsHgLcL6KT4cuCWS9BjUMJfyxfv80Mdzkw7e_f7uIyFnj2BBal8HRJdEqhx83vcEBDYc3vKHXjRtAT6sJC1krUvO3pySaHX6H0/s1600/photo+(7).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSNPy3CyZtLTu5TAo63HbxDB8M3gAO_H8ohveawje0bwsHgLcL6KT4cuCWS9BjUMJfyxfv80Mdzkw7e_f7uIyFnj2BBal8HRJdEqhx83vcEBDYc3vKHXjRtAT6sJC1krUvO3pySaHX6H0/s400/photo+(7).JPG" width="366" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Napkingami</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If I've noticed anything on this trip it is the fact that WE are noticeable. We have not gone anywhere together without someone approaching us or making a passing comment about our family. Just a few examples:<br />
<ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJeobU9Ade2JpTLoMDat56thfOuD5wQ3Ys8j70VLqr3Xaw-_BLi9aoaxoEZCP1jrNDvonaZGZbpOCtNsH8gbASlABCsQS5_o3XPzyw8VsLm1MbIOGs6LWHLgYUaZFFD-4qDtMjwjIJ85U/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJeobU9Ade2JpTLoMDat56thfOuD5wQ3Ys8j70VLqr3Xaw-_BLi9aoaxoEZCP1jrNDvonaZGZbpOCtNsH8gbASlABCsQS5_o3XPzyw8VsLm1MbIOGs6LWHLgYUaZFFD-4qDtMjwjIJ85U/s200/photo+(8).JPG" width="200" /></a>
<li>An 80 year old grandfather from New Jersey practically sat down with us at breakfast one morning to tell us how wonderful our family is and inquire more about us. He told us all about his children and grandchildren and the part we loved was how he called them all "my (name)" when referring to them. "My Logan, he is a great lacrosse player. We go to all his games." It was precious and we decided to mirror that when we are blessed to be grandparents.</li>
<li>A man seated at the table next to us finished his breakfast and got up to leave, but not before coming over to tell me how he could tell how much we have invested in our children's training. He noticed their good behavior immediately (phew!) and briefly told me his qualifications of being an educator for 37 years. I took his compliments and put them in my "encouragement for the bad days" mental box.</li>
<li>The hotel manager, a finely dressed African-American man who is just as charming as the day is long, sought us out as we were walking through the lobby. He struck up a conversation and generously interacted with our children throughout the conversation. He then showered all five of them with full sized Kit Kat candybars. Now he is surely never to be forgotten!</li>
<li>The head valet noticed by the boys' clothing choices that we are a traveling Chicago Bears fan club. He likes the Monsters of the Midway too and was over the top impressed that Lucas loves Robbie Gould the best. He also noticed their Kit Kats and has a daily game of stopping them and begging them to gift him with their candy.</li>
<li>A middle aged mom from D.C., away on her own for a "mental health" weekend, noticed our brood and struck up a conversation about adoption. She was so charmed by Joya that she asked about everything from the paperwork process, to the emotional adjustment of our daughter. She finished by saying that she is going home to talk to her husband about it. Who knows, maybe another orphan will have a forever family just from that poolside conversation.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgBoQDhvKMwtqanUSiExFPHhABQHn8nbgwDRW4R_W-4g05vFGCNkCd-3uY_gqbuFQ29C2t1Kdl_JezIGrSrbqh0kt8xlq5peFb5HipRfy3H37zvnEtSM0bhme2h27Me1n3rcdxKbgAXk/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgBoQDhvKMwtqanUSiExFPHhABQHn8nbgwDRW4R_W-4g05vFGCNkCd-3uY_gqbuFQ29C2t1Kdl_JezIGrSrbqh0kt8xlq5peFb5HipRfy3H37zvnEtSM0bhme2h27Me1n3rcdxKbgAXk/s400/photo+(1).JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I wike da fwim fwim!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Beyond building us up as parents, these conversations have really made me pay closer attention to who we are representing as a family. If our very presence makes people wonder what makes us so "generous and selfless" that we would adopt a orphan with medical needs, or purposefully train our children to be a blessing to others then I want to carry that conversation to point to God who is so generous and loving towards us. I want our children to know the reason we put others first is because Jesus did that for us. I want our constant picture to be one of gratitude.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUGX4ygjcjcLQXILWKPWjUKpJlrgifrbF6xVYFlGliLl-ZtXZixynw6kOeEtF60Zi9hcxs1mAzMDHsT0lbDyTmG8qntOEyJ0_fVO092hfm39Uv0dmF_4IlO0OJVq1fwLf8S0qVGHvMM8k/s1600/photo+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUGX4ygjcjcLQXILWKPWjUKpJlrgifrbF6xVYFlGliLl-ZtXZixynw6kOeEtF60Zi9hcxs1mAzMDHsT0lbDyTmG8qntOEyJ0_fVO092hfm39Uv0dmF_4IlO0OJVq1fwLf8S0qVGHvMM8k/s400/photo+(2).JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Mom! Watch me!"<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My Vacation Loves:<br />
<div>
<ul><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVog4GM1mMxVqXeKN8hxEs_dZin8AMcbHehtEBhTi0m5xb6ihwwgdQjyhB3B9CNrNmh9W6dF72mlNSFyxX0E3ujr_JdhwSPW-2OPK5q1Vjne6Qi9kBy7QtRlUXR7H6xLsNH1tE5msz6-M/s1600/photo+(3).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVog4GM1mMxVqXeKN8hxEs_dZin8AMcbHehtEBhTi0m5xb6ihwwgdQjyhB3B9CNrNmh9W6dF72mlNSFyxX0E3ujr_JdhwSPW-2OPK5q1Vjne6Qi9kBy7QtRlUXR7H6xLsNH1tE5msz6-M/s200/photo+(3).JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px; text-align: center;">Poolside snuggle time.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<li>I love the freedom to throw bedtimes out the window.</li>
<li>I love piling up in one bed to read a chapter book aloud to my big kiddos.</li>
<li>I love that the big boys can be so helpful to carry the pool bag and push the stroller.</li>
<li>I love that my husband pushed me out the door to get a pedicure.</li>
<li>I love that our eight year old son loves to make us all laugh with things like, "Hey Dad, nice muscles. Where did you buy them?"</li>
<li>I love that we can start drinking margaritas any time of the day that we want to.</li>
<li>I love that my husband likes to do most of the driving.</li>
<li>I love the free breakfast buffet.</li>
<li>I love croissants with jam (so do my thighs).</li>
<li>I love that my husband brings me coffee before my feet hit the floor in the morning.</li>
<li>I love that my twelve year old son likes to spend two hours at the thrift store with me looking for treasures.</li>
<li>I love stocking up on cheap wine from Costco (no liquor in Utah Costco)</li>
<li>I love that the wonderful housekeeping staff insist on washing our dirty dishes in addition to cleaning our room.</li>
<li>I love that one particular waitress at the restaurant requested to serve our table because she loved our kiddos so much.</li>
<li>I love that our kids enjoy playing with each other.</li>
</ul>
</div>
Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-77714334736032960502013-03-18T07:07:00.000-07:002013-03-18T08:45:05.934-07:00and wrapped with a pretty bowSome friends of ours had their first baby a couple of weeks ago. I had the pleasure if dropping off a meal for them tonight, and of course accepted the invitation to scoop up and snuggle the little bambino for a few minutes.<br />
<br />
After talking about the unbearable pain of childbirth that you can only understand once you've been through it, our conversation turned to how the baby was doing in the areas of eating, sleeping, and being cute. He sure has the third one down, so there was no need to expand on it.<br />
<br />
I listened to the innocent uncertainties of a new mother and responded to direct questions with some experienced answers. Most of all, it gave me time to revisit the newness of parenting and the guessing game that kids throw us into.<br />
<br />
I ended the visit with the encouragement to cherish these days. I told her that as much as we want our children to fit into a neat little box, they just don't. We have to mix and match parenting techniques, play guessing games, and definitely learn on the job with each individual child.<br />
<br />
Today is Joya's Gotcha Day. One year ago we <b><span style="color: #cc0000;"><a href="http://messyandwonderful.blogspot.com/2012/03/the-good-bad-and-just-plain-sad.html" target="_blank">met her in a conference room in a hotel in China.</a> </span></b> We anticipated the day for a year prior, but to her, it felt like we swooped in and kidnapped her from everything that was secure and familiar to her.<br />
<br />
We have spent a year in the messy world of grief and the <a href="http://messyandwonderful.blogspot.com/2012/08/trust.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #990000;">hard truth of unfamiliarity</span></b></a>. Every day has been a guessing game. Every day has had highs and lows. Many days had tears. Every day had smiles. I would even say every day had laughter.<br />
<br />
A year later, we see a girl who trusts, who laughs, who loves and knows she is loved.<br />
<br />
In hindsight, I see some things I should have done differently and better. But isn't that the case for every child - home grown or adopted?<br />
<br />
Knowing the growth and healing she has experienced despite imperfect parenting motivates me to do it better as we awake to each new day. She inspires me to be a better mom.<br />
<br />
Enjoy the video I have created to try to capture how far she has come in her first year at home.<br />
<br />
Happy Gotcha Day Joya. Our family is richer with you in it!!<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KZbByGxBqZc" width="560"></iframe><br />Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-80053454658931682622013-01-23T07:30:00.000-08:002013-01-23T07:33:35.290-08:00memory lane<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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The effort to tag along on my man's business trip for a few days has proved worth every
frustration. We flew from Salt Lake City
to Ft. Myers, Florida yesterday and although we had to leave at an ungodly hour
of the morning, we were both giddy upon arriving at our last city we called
home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nearly three years after we were married, we jumped at the
opportunity to relocate from Buffalo, New York to the gulf coast of
Florida. Our years in Ft. Myers marked
our biggest life change, as this is the place where our first child was born. Two became three and we discovered how much
we loved being parents.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>So much so, that we added another, and another, and another, and
another.....</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before heading to our hotel, we drove past the apartment
complex where we lived for the first year here with our two dogs, which were
our only babies for that season. We
pointed out the neighborhoods we used to walk our dogs through and how we would
dream of buying a house comparable to the ones we passed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then we laughed at how life has changed in nearly 14 years.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We made a special trip over to our house that was home
for the rest of our time here. It sits
at a great location, very near the water on a little cul-de-sac off a historic
road. We expected it to have undergone
major renovations since we sold it when we moved to Utah in 2002.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu13zB-oz8uD3JWXDKXLr92L4Maxa0EEgbbZ561_oSogRX1HfIqRGvuE6rB1yYt7pH_xKsojB06RbNsCL2RM8TJwwQlIotQBeBLbUebkLfHHC2C2KbJZTfbcYGjRCnnOzwCv8x7Y1oAro/s1600/aqualane.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="440" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu13zB-oz8uD3JWXDKXLr92L4Maxa0EEgbbZ561_oSogRX1HfIqRGvuE6rB1yYt7pH_xKsojB06RbNsCL2RM8TJwwQlIotQBeBLbUebkLfHHC2C2KbJZTfbcYGjRCnnOzwCv8x7Y1oAro/s640/aqualane.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We two became three in this house.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Not so. With the
exception of the very large motorhome being stored in the driveway, it looks
very much the same. A new roof, a little
paint, and a tree taken out were the only changes we could pick out. We laughed at our happy memories in this
house and pointed out where we sat for one of our Christmas card pictures. We awed at how blessed we were to live in a
great spot in Florida and then move to a very different, but equally great spot
in Utah.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Brendan doesn’t remember living in that house, but I will
never forget decorating his nursery, bringing him home from the hospital,
giving him his first bath in the kitchen sink, and our early morning nursings
in the quiet living room.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The best part about living here is that we made some
wonderful, life-long friendships. We
moved here practically as newlyweds, and it didn’t take longer than an hour in
a local church’s Sunday school class to become befriended by some of the finest
people we know to this day, and that we still call friends over a decade later.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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We are excited to reconnect face to face with these fine
folks in the next couple of days. I have
no doubt that the easy laughter and genuine interest in each other’s lives will
surface immediately when we are together. I
consider that a gift and I will not take it for granted.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, we miss our kiddos and surely we will be excited to see
them again on Sunday. But until then, I’m going to soak up the sun, sleep, and
silence. I will enjoy the alone time
with my beloved and our uninterrupted conversations, walks on the beach, soaks
in the hot tub, and naps without consideration for any parental
responsibilities.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m going to indulge my introvert nature and recharge my
mommy-battery so that I return excited for the messy and wonderful life we live.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-55981873337267562312013-01-10T16:01:00.001-08:002013-01-10T16:01:08.663-08:00she's threeA letter to my daughter's birth mother on her third birthday.<br />
<br />
Dearest,<br />
<br />
I'm looking at my daughter today on her third birthday and thinking of you. I know that today is her actual day of birth because you took the loving care to leave a detailed note next to her 4.8 pound newness wrapped in a warm blanket.<br />
<br />
You wrote it on red paper, which I know means you were wishing her good luck in her future.<br />
<br />
For that, and so much more, I am grateful.<br />
<br />
But this letter is to you, and although I cannot mail it, and you will never read it, I want to write it. I want to tell you about our daughter.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaSzMBDA0dSZiz7yfrD-jAuF9jYzvhAjXSonjr9yflOSfhEQgSAOs3KZ-vMmQOARCRAmSD11yOrGsBwMbSmQMDBkJ95sQ7A45nDPUvuzATDpZdbWfYLtNsaZP-JZ9H-HcFXFZF8vnYZO8/s1600/sheisthree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaSzMBDA0dSZiz7yfrD-jAuF9jYzvhAjXSonjr9yflOSfhEQgSAOs3KZ-vMmQOARCRAmSD11yOrGsBwMbSmQMDBkJ95sQ7A45nDPUvuzATDpZdbWfYLtNsaZP-JZ9H-HcFXFZF8vnYZO8/s400/sheisthree.jpg" width="276" /></a>She is a tiny little squirt. She is three years old today, however, she fits perfectly in size 2T clothing and no bigger. Weighing in at 27 pounds, she has gained over seven pounds in the nine months since joining our family, but she is still just a peanut. Her body is very strong and muscular though. She is already showing her athleticism through tumbling and skiing.<br />
<br />
Her weight on her earliest records lead me to wonder if she was born prematurely, or if tiny is just in her genes. Her size reminds me that she is a fighter though, and I can see that she was from the very start. She has clawed and battled her way through this transition. Her loud, strong, and persistent cry makes us sure that she made her presence known on that January day when you parted from her.<br />
<br />
She has worked through the obvious emotions of "hating to love us" and now she is on the precipice of releasing her full heart to us. I can see it on the horizon.<br />
<br />
She is so smart and readily imitates her brothers. Just this week, I was paying close attention to her brother as he was reading me a story he wrote. With five children, I try to devote individual attention as much as possible. Joya tried to interrupt me several times, but I asked her to wait.<br />
<br />
Five minutes after it was over and I was on to my next task, she came up to me with a piece of scratch paper in hand and held it just like her brother did as she proceeded to "read" me her story. As complete jibber-jabber flowed from her mouth, my heart overflowed at what a quick study she is.<br />
<br />
Our girl potty trained faster than any Sweeney before her. The best part is that she stays completely dry through the night and has recently hit the milestone of now being able to use the bathroom without my help.<br />
<br />
She must sense that she is a big girl now because she even refuses to use the plastic utensils that I have always provided her for her meals and insists on the metal ones that the rest of the family uses.<br />
<br />
Her language is developing and she has great manners. Whenever I serve her a meal, she says, "Day-doo Mama!" without prompting. I don't ever want to forget that she calls underwear "ow-wa-dare" and she still calls a drink a "di-di," but is now getting more specific with having "water" or "milk."<br />
<br />
She LOVES to dance. She loves loud, fun music. I am in disbelief at what a transformation we have seen in her time here. She used to wiggle a little while her brothers boogied, but now she appears to hold nothing back and is the first to join into our family dance sessions.<br />
<br />
She is starting to be picky about what she wears and would love to pick out her clothes every day and night. Luckily, she submits to me if I must restrict what she wants to wear, but I have visions of our coming battles when she is a teenager.<br />
<br />
She has been looking forward to her birthday for months now, as her entire family has celebrated birthdays since she has been home, and hers is finally here. She knows what it means to have a cake and blow out candles. She has been practicing telling us she's, "TWO! Nu-uh, FWEEE!"<br />
<br />
Last year <a href="http://messyandwonderful.blogspot.com/2012/01/wondering.html" target="_blank"><b>I wrote to you</b></a> because we were both apart from her and loving her from a distance. This year, I want you to know that we have her, we love her, and we love you for your loving sacrifice.<br />
<br />
I spent some extra time just rocking her chest to chest with her head nuzzled beneath my chin yesterday. I soaked up my two year-old and started to pray over her third year. I prayed for you too, and for her foster family that filled the gap between us so fully.<br />
<br />
Her birthday cake is a colorful flower. I looked for a sunshine design because her favorite song is "You are My Sunshine," and I thought she would be tickled at a cake that illustrated that. But before I became frustrated at not finding my first choice, I saw the beautiful flower and was flooded with the parallel of how her little soul has blossomed since we have known her. <br />
<br />
I'm certain that she is not done yet, and I am looking forward to enjoying the beauty of her bloom.Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-35497842509170477712013-01-04T13:37:00.000-08:002013-01-04T15:53:57.492-08:00why messy and wonderful?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ojZcAVq-glMu9bALQq5Y45IW59FVDktgpscwDTOMzAmryJPRaOzmG3g7MGbBb7HqzJWpsqYz3Yj_WWej3yQyAArRd-A31h7DdJsoAqmzqgJXrgUUxjGFdUOk_9dyC4EWfO4m0jMs8s8/s1600/IMG_1259.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ojZcAVq-glMu9bALQq5Y45IW59FVDktgpscwDTOMzAmryJPRaOzmG3g7MGbBb7HqzJWpsqYz3Yj_WWej3yQyAArRd-A31h7DdJsoAqmzqgJXrgUUxjGFdUOk_9dyC4EWfO4m0jMs8s8/s320/IMG_1259.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our littlest wonderful mess maker.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My blog name needed to change for quite some time now. Adoption has changed our lives in more ways than one and I’m really not in my “world surrounded by
men” anymore. I have been deliberately
hiding from my blog for many reasons, but the change and overhaul was one of
them.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Joya's adjustment into our family has been a moving target of what we might be dealing with next. With each new challenge, we wonder if it is caused by the trauma of adoption or if it is merely a part of her two year-old life. Should we handle it by doing "A" or "B" and which one won't traumatize her even more??? It's been messy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But, when she counts off each family member by name every morning and reaches her arms out with a smile several times a day with the words, " I HOOOLLLD MAMA!" - wonderful doesn't even begin to describe it. When we watch our fifth child take up skiing just like the other four have, with squeals of joy and a desire to go faster, our hearts overflow with how wonderful and worthwhile all of the mess is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight's dinner was breakfast burritos, served one at a time because
our house was a complex machine of people coming and going tonight. My meal prep and service was messy tonight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when they sat down to eat it, everyone loved dinner, and
that is wonderful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our boys spent their coveted Christmas break passing the flu
from one brother to the next, not coordinating well enough to all get through
it at the same time. We looked like a
sick mess, but they all loved to snuggle close and watch lots of DVDs, day
after day, and that was wonderful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Down and out over Christmas break</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sickness was only compounded by the fact that our 40
year old furnace finally leaned too closely to, “Hey I might just leak enough
carbon monoxide in the night to kill you all,” so we made the executive
decision to shut it off and live without heat until we could get a new one
installed. We must install it in a new
location in the house in order to actually conform to building codes. This all happened while our outside temps in
this mountain ski town dipped down to negative numbers. Warm blankets and cold noses!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now, we have walls ripped apart and floor plans being
drawn for an unexpected and expensive project.
We are wearing fleeces and running space heaters. There is a layer of messy construction dust
almost everywhere I turn.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But soon it will be done.
We’ll be warm. We have saved
money for the unexpected, and it will be wonderful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgqgPPOYQKavh0_pkiOAdqLir01WTZJzqOS5lgR5nedz0XL67qUgzPdBchx3yFYRi03mCce_Dtjsjo63QEyv90rrxZ-tbIWQWz9td5kyFnDxdyegWbuFW_ivo2VVp-J7XCkyGpbXZpN7g/s1600/IMG_1458.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgqgPPOYQKavh0_pkiOAdqLir01WTZJzqOS5lgR5nedz0XL67qUgzPdBchx3yFYRi03mCce_Dtjsjo63QEyv90rrxZ-tbIWQWz9td5kyFnDxdyegWbuFW_ivo2VVp-J7XCkyGpbXZpN7g/s320/IMG_1458.jpg" width="240" /></a>Our house is constantly noisy and it is never completely
picked up. By the time we finally update
the outdated avocado green carpeting and 1970’s bathrooms in our house, the
“new” kitchen we remodeled nearly six years ago will be outdated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The papers on my desk scream, “PAY ME! FILE ME!
READ ME!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Parenting our brood is a nearly humorous trial and error
experiment cycle as we weigh and measure each child’s needs, temperament, good
and bad deeds, love language, and hormone level. Then we try to match all that adequately
against our best prayerful guess of what is needed AND muster the energy to execute
the plan.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My head hits the pillow at night yearning for a couple of
extra hours to supernaturally sneak in to my REM cycle, yet the 6:30 a.m. alarm
always feels too soon and too painful.
But during those hours, I’m wonderfully intertwined with My Beloved, who
I love and respect more each day that I know him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBaa5Bj2WX0CfTfXicH-mzFE6MGGqRn4s8V4vFsP7wI30wZg9KV0gT3CBkt8lwJYdSkr8mOkSjadH40I_b_mQCHW0YqulY-qkOi50ijsIa7eT97SZyOpBV4n6BSojnmrgTHULeDi4b8dY/s1600/IMG_1310.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBaa5Bj2WX0CfTfXicH-mzFE6MGGqRn4s8V4vFsP7wI30wZg9KV0gT3CBkt8lwJYdSkr8mOkSjadH40I_b_mQCHW0YqulY-qkOi50ijsIa7eT97SZyOpBV4n6BSojnmrgTHULeDi4b8dY/s640/IMG_1310.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We snooze when we can.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All that leads up to the fact that when I showed My Beloved
my short list of truly inspiring and (I thought) fitting titles, it lead to a
discussion about naming my blog something that reflects ME. Not my kids, husband, passions, job, or
interests.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I asked him, who knows me best of all: “Who do you say I
am then?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He paused, looked down at the floor, then shrugged and
sighed and said, “Messy and wonderful,” to which we both broke out into whole-hearted
laughter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To revisit in another post is the fact that ten years ago,
that comment would have hurt my feelings and had me personally offended for
being called messy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I am. And our
life is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
But it is so WONDERFUL.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-85841233090248462102012-08-11T21:27:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.868-08:00trust<p>After nearly five months home from China, I finally put the time into creating Joya's "Gotcha" video.  For those of you outside of the adoption world, "gotcha day" is the term used for the day families are united with their child (got-ya).</p> <p>Our adoption was and is an amazing and life changing journey.  It went beyond anything I could have imagined in the realm of both <strong>JOY</strong> and <strong>PAIN</strong>.</p> <p>Although we are convinced that God had His hand on Joya's adoption and that she is perfectly matched for our family, we are equally convinced that this is NOT the way life is ideally supposed to be for her.</p> <p>At one of our hotels during our stay in China, we noticed another family at breakfast wearing T-shirts that had the slogan, "Adopted By Design" on the back.  It implied to us that God designed adoption as a first choice for these children.</p> <p>It actually angered my husband and it gave me great pause in my thoughts.</p> <p>Adoption is a second choice for orphans.  It is a second choice to staying with each orphan's birth family forever.  It is clearly the result of a broken world.</p> <p>No matter who an orphan's birth family is, there is <strong>LOSS</strong> and <strong>GRIEF</strong> in adoption.</p> <p>But, over the last five months, I had one adoptive mom repeatedly remind me of the <strong>BEAUTY</strong> in the process.  And after making this video, I am far enough removed to see it.</p> <p>Finally.</p> <p>Because, as you can see, it has not been all sunshine and roses.  The transition has been <strong>HARD</strong>.  Our <u>love was instant</u> when we met our daughter, however, it took <strong>TIME</strong> to build our relationship and get to know each other.</p> <p>And we are not done yet.</p> <p>I was fearful to let her look back on the grief she has endured this year.  Up to this point, any reminder of China has only upset her.  </p> <p>But maybe we both knew in our hearts that it was time to put together the memories.  I let her watch it and she stared intently at it and then looked at me and said, "<strong>SAD</strong> Lien Lien."  (She still mostly refers to herself by her endeared Chinese nickname.)</p> <p>Then she smiled.</p> <p>Relief washed over us when we realized that this did not re-traumatize her.  We have been working so hard to shower her with love and consistency - trying to establish coveted trust, that we feared the memories might hit the reset button on all of that work.</p> <p>Personally, I think it had the opposite effect.  I think watching the road we have traveled together has encouraged her to hold more tightly to her forever family.  She has smiled more and been more affectionate in the last few days.</p> <p>For me, it has completely renewed my <strong>COMPASSION</strong> for her and allowed me to feel pain for her that I had pushed to my back-burner as I have committed myself to the very tedious, daily work of mothering five kids.</p> <p>I have a renewed perspective of adoption and the <strong>MIRACLE</strong> that occurs in the process.</p> <p>And I am looking forward to watching the <strong>BEAUTY</strong> grow with time.</p> <p><iframe height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Hjh7EVKjhqY" frameborder="0" width="500" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-54555186474162028852012-08-08T08:06:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.863-08:00summer<p>Summer has eaten me alive.  We are all doing really well but this mama is TIRED and each day is very full.</p> <p>I'll be back when those school days start again soon.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-BzsHNkDg-Bc/UCKAVsJKGRI/AAAAAAAAWRs/CziYdtu4ty4/s1600-h/IMG_0975%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 70px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0975" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-6KoZoDyXzhw/UCKAWSaeWtI/AAAAAAAAWR0/juoL8QYHiq4/IMG_0975_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="351" height="462" /><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-EIotTvd6OpA/UCKAXhUY8lI/AAAAAAAAWR8/zxRudqP9A5A/s1600-h/IMG_0979%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0979" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-hLQ0d2cB_54/UCKAYvgC6iI/AAAAAAAAWSE/CcqAg5CZjI0/IMG_0979_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="479" height="364" /></a></a> </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-bymCJS2z-mE/UCKAZkewVUI/AAAAAAAAWSM/cSpxehNqIGI/s1600-h/IMG_1019%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_1019" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-K2EezTv3jX4/UCKAau4Gl6I/AAAAAAAAWSU/iak1t9y-q_Q/IMG_1019_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="484" height="370" /></a></p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-54632961847689603612012-05-24T11:13:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.864-08:00june 19th<p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-hUkryf2rkU0/T756MfEd7BI/AAAAAAAAWQU/NWye4U4OeMo/s1600-h/IMG_0703%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0703" align="right" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-RhpmtTDEwro/T756MztDwHI/AAAAAAAAWQc/mVkax16PNCk/IMG_0703_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="245" height="322" /></a>We are home from our post sleep study check up with Joya's ENT, who has looked at her sleep study results and cleared her for surgery on June 19th.</p> <p>Apparently, she has some sleep apnea, but it is mild and triggered from her brain and not due to her physical birth defect.  I am amazed that a sheet full of confusing line graphs and number tables can tell us that, but then again, I didn't go to medical school either.</p> <p>Her first surgery will be on the side of her face and her ear.  I could explain each step, but I don't have the time.  The plan is for her to have two surgeries, first her face, then her mouth - both in 2012.  We all hope that she won't have to see the inside of an operating room until elementary school, when she will have the first of several jaw surgeries over the course of her growing years.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-9V_B8qzsc5c/T756NXynw3I/AAAAAAAAWQk/SMAvqz20um8/s1600-h/IMG_0727%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0727" align="left" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-IgE15lqjXJM/T756N5lKbNI/AAAAAAAAWQs/SfHZEAoHUlw/IMG_0727_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="250" height="328" /></a>We are celebrating today.  Although the surgery is not without risks, I am very ready to get the ball rolling so that we can live life and not be waiting to schedule our life around medical procedures.</p> <p>I have stopped giving perfect strangers detailed explanations about her birth defect when they ask about (and sometimes reach out and touch) her face.  I'm sorry to say that the number of ridiculous responses and follow up questions has reached the limit of what I can politely respond to.  </p> <p>I went into this all prepared and motivated to help people learn about and not fear correctable birth defects, but now she is my daughter, I love her, and I'm tired of defending her to people who clearly have no social skills when they follow up with questions about her HIV status or statements about the evils of the Chinese government that have absolutely nothing to do with my little girl.</p> <p><em>Stepping down from my soap box now.</em></p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-iwB1MKZ4ocM/T756Ot_NMyI/AAAAAAAAWQ0/elKVTM7Cbqs/s1600-h/IMG_0696%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0696" align="left" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-HeiR3quP1ZQ/T756PHaqS7I/AAAAAAAAWQ8/iikjWCbtyBI/IMG_0696_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="256" height="336" /></a>Overall, she is making some big steps of progress, which makes me giggle.  I no longer fear when she hugs a perfect stranger, because she immediately comes running back to me.  She can pick her brothers out of a school crowd and treats them like her brothers - with love, affection, thrill, and admiration.  She also asks for her daddy when he is at work, but seems to completely understand that he will come back.</p> <p>Her sleep is not perfect, but tolerable and we can manage on the status quo.  She eats a lot of food, but is not stuffing herself until she is sick as was her tendency when we first returned home from China.  She only tolerates her car seat for short rides around town - longer than 20 minutes and she turns into Princess Whiny-pants.</p> <p>Luckily, this isn't my first visit to the royal castle. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwRee8xVpudHka70v1ndaPQ_lOPnp4D0mkDfb6BzPsiO0edA2ZG99UfuAwqx6VBDWgM9TjguR4DHUmovvVFbUhqwcRJA3fgruXNuEve8dbXEZt64knbXf2cPISZpMXLhyphenhyphenPBUfLsYJ6GDQ/s1600-h/IMG_0629%25255B6%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0629" align="left" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-aTmyqyWo0Lg/T756QO2cRJI/AAAAAAAAWRM/MFZz9GXihVc/IMG_0629_thumb%25255B4%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="239" height="309" /></a> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-KBEjWAhEbWg/T756Q10Ap2I/AAAAAAAAWRU/EbI2cSH7IXI/s1600-h/IMG_0735%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0735" align="right" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-o9rC3oObMXU/T756RvNiHGI/AAAAAAAAWRc/QjdJATlDI60/IMG_0735_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="234" height="308" /></a></p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-46639013608837065312012-05-18T17:21:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.862-08:00he said, she said<p>Fifteen years ago today I became his wife and he became my husband.  We recited the traditional wedding vows and fed each other cake and left the building as Mr. and Mrs. Sweeney. </p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-UER6MMt-oBA/T7bnjSjtY9I/AAAAAAAAWPA/_F5m90oSvyE/s1600-h/SCAN0020%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="SCAN0020" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-Cmh1zyTHYzs/T7bnj93MX2I/AAAAAAAAWPI/Pt1iV8yqcZA/SCAN0020_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="476" height="332" /></a> </p> <p>Fifteen years and five kids later, here we are.</p> <p>If you've missed it, I told our dating and engagement story on our eleventh anniversary, titled <a href="http://inaworldsurroundedbymen.blogspot.com/2008/05/love-is-verb.html" target="_blank">"LOVE is a verb"</a>.</p> <p>For our twelfth anniversary, I wrote <a href="http://inaworldsurroundedbymen.blogspot.com/2009/05/glass-blower.html" target="_blank">the glass blower</a> which talked about how the seasons of marriage change with time.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-S5e3ok0vQPA/T7bnkva4QyI/AAAAAAAAWPQ/-nKfSVJOPVg/s1600-h/SCAN0015%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="SCAN0015" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-bSxujdikNtk/T7bnlKSE67I/AAAAAAAAWPY/4r1zTKZBWjA/SCAN0015_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="473" height="384" /></a> </p> <p>I seemed to have skipped year thirteen, but last year I wrote a <a href="http://inaworldsurroundedbymen.blogspot.com/2011/05/dear-22-year-old-self.html" target="_blank">letter to my 22 year-old self</a> as I was reflecting on fourteen years of marriage.</p> <p>This year I decided on a "He Said, She Said" question and answer format.  It is always fun to hear from his side of the marriage relationship.  His honest answers make me giggle and cherish him that much more.</p> <p><font size="4"><strong><em>1.  What do you remember about your decision to propose?<u></u><u></u></em></strong></font></p> <p><font size="3"><strong><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-DnG61LkKwmc/T7bnl3mcm_I/AAAAAAAAWPg/KKUbjJH0iNQ/s1600-h/SCAN0030%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="SCAN0030" align="left" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-qI767WwdzSY/T7bnmtYS94I/AAAAAAAAWPo/CWlDfmpyjGQ/SCAN0030_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="265" height="222" /></a>He Said:</strong></font>  We had a fight over whether your dog would live indoors or outdoors.  We didn’t speak for three days and I quickly decided that life was empty without you and I needed to seal this deal quickly.</p> <p><font size="3"><strong>She Said:</strong></font>  I didn't propose, but I knew we were heading that direction.  I knew that he was the man I wanted to marry.  We had the same values, enjoyed doing the same things, and made each other laugh.  And we still do.  I'm so glad he asked! </p> <p><font size="4"><strong><em>2.  How has marriage been different or the same as your expectations as a single adult?<u></u><u></u></em></strong></font></p> <p><font size="3"><strong>He Said:</strong></font>  I entered marriage with the delusion that it would be the same as being a single adult (I was 22 after all) except I would be living with my best friend.  This naïve belief was quickly shattered within the first month and led to a tumultuous 18 months of marriage.<font size="3"><strong><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-z921QtEpkSs/T7bnncTYKRI/AAAAAAAAWPw/_rR0ozBnrx8/s1600-h/SCAN0018%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="SCAN0018" align="right" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-cxAPYnXb1u8/T7bnnzerdCI/AAAAAAAAWP4/UmfqGWWpFXg/SCAN0018_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="318" height="218" /></a></strong></font>  However, during that time I never questioned my decision since I had sampled three days without Laurie and knew that was untenable (as a first born I don’t mind a little conflict in my life….keeps it interesting). </p> <p><font size="3"><strong> She Said:</strong></font>  Marriage has been very different than I expected as a very young single adult.  Luckily, now I haven't known any other life.  I have several friends who got married at a much more mature age than we did, so I'm sure they had time to savor or lament the single life.  Not me.  Being married at 22 years old means that we had to do a lot of our adult maturing together - and that's messy.  </p> <p>We had to figure out how to live on our own, build a relationship, succeed at our work, balance our extended families, and just put the puzzle of our life (and individual lives) together.  Not to mention adding our first child at 26 years old.  Managing finances was much more complicated than I expected (must we really have a plan for the future? ;-))  </p> <p>Conflict within marriage was so much harder than I anticipated and we had to work through many years - and still even now - of learning to resolve conflict in a healthy way (I'm a middle child, so I RUN from conflict).</p> <p><font size="4"><strong><em>3.  What has marriage taught you?<u></u><u></u></em></strong></font></p> <p><font size="3"><strong>He Said:</strong></font>  <br />-  Choosing your spouse is the ABSOLUTELY most critical decision you will EVER make in your life and you better choose wisely (seek wise <i><u>read OLD</u></i> counsel). <br />-  The world doesn’t actually revolve around me. <br />-  Physical aspects of marriage are incredible, but make up an infinitesimal fraction of married life. <br />-  Love/speak to your spouse the way they want to receive words/love, not how you want to give it. <br />-  I am lucky/blessed to be married to Laurie Kate Sweeney.</p> <p><font size="3"><strong>She Said: <br /></strong></font>-  Ditto to all the above although insert Kenyon in his last point. <br />-  I will add that marriage has taught me (the hard way) that I find joy and contentment when I stop focusing on myself and look for opportunities to serve others.  For the last decade and a half, that has meant serving my husband and children.  I have not always been good at it and often have to learn the same lesson over and over.  Marriage works better when each parties are more concerned with the other's needs.  It is not easy, but it is true. <br />-  Things usually change for the better as soon as I find a way to be content with how they are now.  Contentment is a decision. <br /></p> <p><font size="4"><strong><em>4.  If you haven't addressed it in the previous answers, what is/was the toughest part of marriage?  Or do you have a biggest regret?<u></u><u></u></em></strong></font></p> <p><font size="3"><strong>He Said: <br /></strong></font>-  Worrying about finances and allowing this to be a flash point in our relationship. <br />-  Not choosing my words more carefully in conflicts in our first 2 years of marriage (or occasionally in the present).</p> <p><font size="3"><strong><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-cvkL5Vqnpqw/T7bnonSpDUI/AAAAAAAAWQA/lVQwY_ZR_ng/s1600-h/SCAN0021%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="SCAN0021" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-bC6wG1Fy8UE/T7bnpHR4lrI/AAAAAAAAWQI/DS2A9bEQ_V0/SCAN0021_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="445" height="305" /></a></strong></font></p> <p><font size="3"><strong>She Said:</strong></font>  The toughest part for me has for sure been times of conflict.  Well, equal to it is deciding to die to myself and put my husband before me.</p> <p>My biggest regret is hanging onto unforgiveness.  I wasted so much time with grudges and if I could go back and do it better, I would.</p> <p><u></u><u></u></p> <p><font size="4"><strong><em>5.  What is your favorite memory (excluding births) in your marriage?<u></u></em></strong></font><u></u></p> <p><font size="3"><strong>He Said:</strong></font>  <br />-  Laughing with each other (i.e. Naples liquor store run, Pop up camper malfunction at Utah Lake, Boys “rafting” down CJ’s stream, listening to Car Talk on way to Moab, etc…)</p> <p><font size="3"><strong>She Said:</strong></font>  My favorite memories are the relaxing times that we have been able to appreciate "just us" by getting away from all the noise of everyday life.  Whether we get away for one overnight at Stein's, or a weekend in Palm Desert, or ten days in Ireland, we always laugh and connect and come home refreshed in our relationship.  Above all, we are reminded that we really like each other.</p> <p><font size="4"><strong><em>6.  What are your marriage goals looking forward?<u></u><u></u></em></strong></font></p> <p><font size="3"><strong>He Said: <br /></strong></font>-  To LIKE each other more in 30 years than we do today.  (side note:  we really do like each other now).</p> <p><font size="3"><strong>She Said:</strong></font>  I really want to work to out-serve each other.  We are always happier when we are working to make the other's needs above our own.  I am mindful of the fact that we won't have a houseful of kids forever and when they're gone, we need to like being together.</p> <p>I also want to make time alone together a priority.  We recently realized that our date nights alone have become a thing of the past, but really enjoyed our time together one day when we had to repair something together at our rental property.  We decided that our evenings are busy with five kids, so we're going to get a sitter for breakfast or lunch dates instead and enjoy the daytime together.</p> <p><font size="4"><strong><em>7.  What is your favorite quality of your spouse?<u></u><u></u></em></strong></font></p> <p><font size="3"><strong>He Said:</strong></font> <br />-  Sense of humor <br />-  Drive to care for those in need <br />-  Desire to love me selflessly <br />-  Independent & strong</p> <p><font size="3"><strong>She Said:  <br /></strong></font>-  Sense of humor <br />-  Willingness to father a huge family (and work to father each one well)  <br />-  Drive to provide for this huge family  <br />-  Willingness to apologize with a humble and sincere heart (even going so far to use the word "jacka$$" in reference to his behavior, which never fails to make me laugh) <br />-  Passionate about people and things that matter to him. <br />-  Loyal always</p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-43317502804707899822012-05-14T21:13:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.861-08:00re-do<p>I pulled up and parked just in time for the last class of first graders to come out of the school in a line and start loading on the bus in an orderly fashion.</p> <p>"Is this first grade?" I asked one of the parent volunteers.</p> <p>"Yes, Mrs. K's class," she responded.</p> <p>I quickly scanned the windows full of faces from the three other classes of first graders.  My eyes quickly found the little blondie I was looking for and I breathed a sigh of relief.</p> <p>I tapped on his window.  He thought I was just coming to give a send off for his special class field trip, but I had a much more urgent mission.  I motioned for him to get off the bus and mouthed that I wanted to talk to him for a quick minute.</p> <p>He immediately hopped up and worked his way against the incoming traffic to get off the bus and onto the sidewalk with me.</p> <p>With his baby sister straddling my hip, I dropped to one knee and put my free hand around his waist.</p> <p>The tears were brimming.  I could not hold them back.</p> <p>"Buddy, I feel horrible for how I treated you this morning.  I am so sorry for fighting with you and for the awful things I said.  I was only thinking of myself.  Will you forgive me?" I pleaded.</p> <p>He looked me directly in the eye and lo and behold, his eyes swam in tears as well.  "Yes mom, I forgive you.  I'm sorry too.  I love you.  Did you come here just to tell me this?" he responded.</p> <p>"Yes!  Our relationship is important to me and I messed up big time this morning.  I'm so glad I got here before you left for your field trip.  I hope you have a great time.  I love you Rufus." I said.</p> <p>I watched him get back on the bus and take his seat.  Not two moments later, the bus started to pull away.  I am so grateful that I was given the gift of getting there in time to ask for forgiveness before the school day was through.</p> <p>I was such a horrible mom to him that morning.  My need for forgiveness was eating away my heart from the moment he left for school.</p> <p>God has been weaving a lesson of forgiveness throughout my life for months now.  I see it all around me (after I drafted this, this very weekend our church sermon was about forgiveness.  I hear you God!) and I'm learning how to give and receive forgiveness - true forgiveness, not just apologies - in my marriage, friendships, and parenting.</p> <p>It is not an easy topic for me to learn because it takes a lot of humility both when I am wrong and when I've been wronged.  It takes work on both ends to ask to be forgiven and to truly forgive - and then to choose to leave it in the past.  I'm not very good at it, in fact, I'm really good at digging up old dirt about my kids and my man.</p> <p>I have been dwelling a lot lately about all the dirt that God has on me.  Enough to build me a mountain from here to Mars, yet I have confidence in the forgiveness I have received in that relationship.  </p> <p>Who am I to hold on to the dirt of my loved ones?</p> <p>It is not easy though.  </p> <p>And I'm on the look out for re-do's.</p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-60625260532342594332012-05-08T21:53:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.867-08:00a perfect fit.<p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-0VSdGgiZFsQ/T6n4LueT5sI/AAAAAAAAWN4/IYOAxciPfRs/s1600-h/torah%252520joya%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="torah joya" align="right" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-XzIs5X7qEoc/T6n4MK4mUnI/AAAAAAAAWOA/K04v2tRvQx8/torah%252520joya_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="321" height="244" /></a>Over the weekend we accepted an invitation to socialize with a local family that we "knew of" but had never met until we went to China.  They also adopted a little girl that is just five months younger than Joya.</p> <p>We had a wonderful time catching up and filling each other in on the ups and downs of our transitions at home, as well as the medical updates of our daughters.</p> <p>While driving home, my man mentioned how sweet and mild mannered our friends' daughter is compared to Joya.  What was noteworthy to him was the fact that their daughter also fit the profile of the medical conditions we would have considered.</p> <p>"She could have been ours instead of Joya," he said.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-K3kr1hbyr4s/T6n4MkPJlxI/AAAAAAAAWOI/SDKQDoMPiMU/s1600-h/IMG_0598%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0598" align="left" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-CnBodUCxwNU/T6n4NDBVfxI/AAAAAAAAWOQ/HPmQEtQT0Is/IMG_0598_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="284" height="373" /></a>We both sat in silence as we pondered what a divine match our little girl is to our family.  She is naturally animated and LOUD.  I heard Sauce describing her to one of his soccer buddies today - "She's tough!" he boasted.</p> <p>She is so perfectly matched to our large, active, and mostly male family.  It was yet another moment in this process when we recognized and were humbled by the fact that God knew who our daughter would be from the very beginning.  He was purposeful in placing her with us and gave us the gift of seeing it.</p> <p>She was so clearly supposed to be ours that it brings tears to our eyes thinking about it unfolding any other way.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-rQ8X9XQxEtI/T6n4N6b4IpI/AAAAAAAAWOY/RvAG2nEFiBE/s1600-h/IMG_0610%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 60px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0610" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-s1HS5GmqSoA/T6n4O2teKiI/AAAAAAAAWOg/eJW2ZtCyyD4/IMG_0610_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="366" height="482" /></a></p> <p>We are in the thick of navigating through the slow maze of medical diagnosis and treatment for her.  Her preliminary tests show that she definitely struggles to breathe properly at night, so her doctor postponed the surgery we had on the books in June for her face, and set us on the path of overnight hospital sleep studies (FUN!) and treating this problem first before any other.</p> <p>I'm thoroughly frustrated with the fact that no medical office responds with any sense of urgency at all.  But I'm a mom on a mission to get my daughter the best treatment in the most favorable timeframe for her needs.</p> <p>Definition - "squeaky wheel"</p> <p>Our consistent daily routine has definitely helped her personality to blossom and our mother-daughter relationship to grow leaps and bounds.  Yesterday and today I had the opportunity to communicate with her foster family in China to let them know how great she is doing.  It felt so good to tell them how grateful we are for the advantage they gave her by being her first family.  Now that I know her more fully, I can appreciate the void that she left in their lives and I hurt for them.</p> <p>They sent back a message to me of gratitude and relief that she is thriving and I made a personal commitment to send word at least twice a year for the next couple of years to try to ease their pain.</p> <p>Secretly, I hope that they foster another child because they are clearly gifted at it.</p> <a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-biO_ZvebIA0/T6n4PmgbdAI/AAAAAAAAWOo/YEQ-0QCoCfQ/s1600-h/IMG_0596%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0596" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-4qqYYy2wPhk/T6n4QczQNMI/AAAAAAAAWOw/GCwUgPwLRps/IMG_0596_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="480" height="365" /></a> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-19684322337033014732012-05-01T08:00:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.858-08:00have a gift? use it!<p>We really are blessed with an amazing support network.  From beginning (and not ending), we have had families and individuals want to be involved in Joya's adoption.  Contributions of financial gifts, babysitting our boys, mountains of new clothes and hand-me-downs, and a seemingly unending meal train, have all overwhelmed us with unexpected love and support.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-GrSLhMeuMzw/T5_6keyoeXI/AAAAAAAAWNE/3e3XCr6XI24/s1600-h/stroller%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="stroller" align="left" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-BpuTu4ClNtY/T5_6k3SNbYI/AAAAAAAAWNM/6qi4BSc_l6Y/stroller_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="275" height="361" /></a>I will report to you that the last two nights have been much better as far as sleep is concerned, and whether it lasts or not, we're grateful.  She is a huge fan of her Mommy lately and even showed some stranger danger over the weekend - which warmed my heart.</p> <p>The support has been consistent and amazing.  After reading my last post, a friend I know from Squirt's preschool pulled me aside and insisted on coming over to clean my house.  She is naturally organized, loves to declutter, (and claims) she enjoys cleaning.</p> <p>"I can't help you with Joya's adjustment - I know that has to stay within your family - but I CAN clean, and I want to clean.  I'm coming on Monday," she insisted as I squirmed at the thought of her seeing, much less touching, our messes.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-mN1drxZMgCU/T5_6lgCHcYI/AAAAAAAAWNU/a4z1fZMK7eg/s1600-h/pretties%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="pretties" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhnBeck1HdyIggCcNQdpScLaS1bbpf6PavHyy-pVisAV9YCBN-uoYzxRoCae-tfqLcyxBF4fZY_ocOli1cfIenJZyZ6eNYaXxlgjUvMb-tlw49vDe38-PbkgD0lZSUgtOgAIILGTs1Geo/?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a> Yesterday was Monday and she came straight here after we dropped our boys off for preschool.  She brought her own cleaning supplies and three rolls of paper towels.  She requested some garbage bags to tote along with her and after I gave her a tour of my overwhelming messes, she proceeded to put my home into a clean Half Nelson.</p> <p>She cleaned every bathroom in the house and decluttered and cleaned every bedroom.  I tried to help but Little Miss was not really helpful to have along.  So, as she ate her snacks in her chair, I cleaned my stovetop, wiped down my appliances, and came when called to sort through piles of treasures and trash.</p> <p>To top it all off, she emptied out my fridge and washed the inside so it sparkled and smelled good again.</p> <p>Reluctantly, she had to go pick up her kids at 2:30 and whined and complained like a kid about how disappointed she was that she didn't get to clean the entire house to her standard.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ZsCIuQAXpM8/T5_6miZZhGI/AAAAAAAAWNk/kjHnq-T5aS8/s1600-h/soccer%252520field%25255B6%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="soccer field" align="left" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-_ldDwKj4V4E/T5_6nHgBQUI/AAAAAAAAWNs/0WAuiPW57Oo/soccer%252520field_thumb%25255B4%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="231" height="298" /></a>After she left, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and inspired to look for opportunities to use my gifts for others (um, my gifts are NOT cleaning, if you were wondering).</p> <p>When you see an opportunity to help others - just do it.  Get past the discomfort and awkwardness and do it.  When I realized that Cara was not going to let up and I just gave up on hiding my messes, I was again blessed by receiving something I could never have done myself.</p> <p>So, watch out world.  My house is clean.  I'm inspired.  And I'm grateful.  Thank you Cara!</p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-36994289074088596662012-04-24T21:13:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.860-08:00focus on the good, not the sucky<p>It is 9:09 p.m.  I have five kids upstairs in bed and asleep.  The kitchen is minimally cleaned up, but I still have to make three of the four lunches for school tomorrow because Sauce decided to make his own tonight (he also put away his clean laundry without being asked - who is that kid???).</p> <p>It feels like 11:45 p.m.</p> <p>I ran into a friend at the park today (on account of the rare warm spell) who joked with me that she is stalking my blog for an update.</p> <p>There is such a mixed bag of what goes on each day, and it is against my nature not to share both.  So, I'll start with the sucky, and because we are all focusing on the good, I will end with that.</p> <p>Thanks for sticking with me.</p> <p><strong><u>Sucky:</u></strong></p> <ul> <li>I had to get out of bed ten times last night.  Maybe more.  She wakes up scared to death - anywhere between two and ten times each night.</li> <li>Sleep apnea might be contributing to her night troubles and we're investigating that medically.</li> <li>I had to work hard to muster a smile for anyone this morning and there was more than one tear.</li> <li>Squirt's adjustment has manifested in fear of bad guys and often being sad when I drop him off at school.</li> <li>I am ready to fire the housekeeper.  Wait, I don't have one.  I cannot keep my house clean for the life of me - even to my sadly low standards.</li> <li>My new state of family-cocoon works to prevent me from seeing friends socially.  I saw a couple of preschool parents by chance at the park this morning as I was trying to exhaust my daughter enough to submit to a long(er) nap (failed by the way).  I realized that this has to be the new normal for now.</li> <li>I don't answer a lot of phone calls or initiate them either.</li> <li>For now, I can't handle more than finding my balance in my new normal.</li> </ul> <p><strong><u>Good:</u></strong></p> <ul> <li>Our boys ADORE their sister.  They have been the loft to my balloon when I'm discouraged.  Even when she is rotten to them, they are nothing but devoted to her.</li> <li>She goes to bed without protest and has adapted to a bedtime routine beautifully.</li> <li>We are still getting meals from loving friends (we've been home since 3/29).  I have already announced to all dependent parties that I have forgotten how to cook.</li> <li>Every day I take tags off of new items of clothing for Joya.  And I haven't purchased a thing on my own dime.</li> <li>She lets me put "pretties" in her hair and we admire my work together.</li> <li>Through our pre-bedtime rocking chair time, she has learned where her nose, ears, eyes, hair, mouth, and fingers are.  We work on more each night.</li> <li>She understands everything we say in English.  I'm sure she's going to start spouting out sentences when we least expect it.</li> <li>Normally not ticklish or physically playful, today I got some full blown belly laughs when I gobbled on her armpits during a diaper change.  And she wanted more.  Smile.</li> <li>Despite my Beloved's busy travel schedule, I have been able to keep up with the Taxi-Mom demands of the boys' schedules.</li> <li>I take great joy in my boys' enjoying their interests.  We have spring soccer going on and The Hunter and my man both read The H^nger Game$ series together (I read them last year).  I know there is controversy surrounding exposing kids to this series, but for this boy it was a great opportunity to connect and talk about big life topics and I'm glad we encouraged him.</li> <li>I have great adoptive moms in my life who only need a one-sentence text from me before they call to encourage me through the tough stuff.  No offense, but now I know you have to go through it to understand.</li> <li>Last weekend I was able to go to Denver to the <a href="http://empoweredtoconnect.org/" target="_blank"><strong><font color="#0000ff">"Empowered to Connect"</font></strong></a> conference based on the book "The Connected Child" and the work of Dr. Karyn Purvis, PhD. and Director of the TCU Institute of Child Development.  I learned more about investing in my home-grown kids than I ever imagined and came home encouraged and ready to start fresh.  Plus I slept without interruption for TWO nights while I was away.</li> <li>My neighbor brought me a beautiful potted orchid yesterday and wasn't offended in the least when I had to cut our visit short to put my tired girl down for her too-short nap.</li> <li>One of my very best friends here knows I'm sleep deprived and struggling to ride the waves of this new journey.  Each morning she texts me an encouragement from scripture and asks how she can pray for me and if she can help me by doing a grocery run or other tangible task.  Did I mention that she has six kids of her own???  I am one lucky lady.</li> <li>I could go on with the good, but I will end with the fact that this "trial" which is really such joy mixed with adjustment, has enriched my marriage to a wonderful new level.  My Beloved has been transformed by the emotion/struggle/joy/fullness of our experience.  He is more tender and passionate about all of us.  He is quick to find humor as well as flexible to our unpredictable needs despite the demands on him to provide financially for this family of seven.  Next month we will celebrate 15 years of marriage.  He is the rock that keeps us all centered and I simply adore him.</li> </ul> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-18815043387592763812012-04-16T22:10:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.857-08:00small victories<p>I have a post written in my drafts folder describing some of the realities of how hard these last three weeks have been.</p> <p>I don't want to forget how hard it has been.  I don't think I will, simply because I haven't been glossing it over to other people either.  Many people have asked me how it is going and I have been truthful in responses.</p> <blockquote> <p><em>It is like nothing else I have experienced.</em></p> <p><em>It is harder than having a newborn, for sure.</em></p> <p><em>The days are pretty good, but we covet sleep.</em></p> <p><em>It is just hard, but I'm looking forward to finding a new normal in my life, free of the newness, free of visitors (doesn't mean I don't love them), and in a solid routine.</em></p> </blockquote> <p>I have tried to take the time to explain to several people WHY it is so hard, but the words just don't do it justice.  Part of the reason is that it is a uniquely lonely time.  There is no one that can come in and fix what is wrong, we just have to trudge on through.</p> <p>I have been clinging to the knowledge that God works through the tough stuff in life.  I know He does, but I just felt like a constant failure.  We love this girl so much and there is so much hurt for her to overcome.  We can't do it for her.  We can only be here to help her through it.</p> <p>At one particularly teary moment for me, I sobbed to a friend, "I know that God is here, but I don't feel Him.  I don't see His power in all of this and I want to so badly!!!"</p> <p>Three things happened over the last 24 hours that gave me some peace and hope.</p> <p>1.  At our couples' Bible study last night, while hashing through the topic of prayer, my eyes came across a note I wrote in my Bible long ago in 1 John regarding verse 5:4 ("for everyone born of God overcomes the world.")  At some point in time I wrote down a quote by author Max Lucado - "In your frustration you wonder where the power of God is.  Be patient.  God is using today's difficulties to strengthen you for tomorrow.  He is <u>equipping</u> you.  The God who makes things grow will help you bear fruit.  Dwell on the fact that God lives within you.  Think about the power that gives you life."</p> <p>I'm being equipped.  He's with me.  And I'm grateful.</p> <p>2.  We had a great day today!  Particularly, nap time  (which has been a time of panic, grief, and lots of screaming) went more smoothly than ever and it gave me hope that we WILL get there.  We played outside, read stories, laughed, and snuggled.  She jibber-jabbered more than ever to us (mandarin maybe?  two year old talk, for sure).  Tonight, she saw that my phone was sitting on Kenyon's lap and she leaned over and picked it up and said, "Mama, (then some jibberish equal to "here's your phone")!"  We all laughed at what a smarty pants she is.</p> <p>3.  I read <a href="http://hunderfundmn.blogspot.com/2012/04/reflection-for-easter.html" target="_blank"><strong><font color="#ff0000">THIS</font></strong></a> by my sister in-law and felt comforted by the fact that she has been to a place much darker than I am right now and now she is on the other side with hind sight perspective and COMFORT.</p> <p>She gave me the gift of comfort in darkness as well.</p> <p>So, to sum it up - it has been hard, but it is getting better.  Small victories keep me pressing on with hope.</p> <p>Easter was fun - but our family photo was pathetic.  Rufus was actually in a good mood but wanted to spoil the picture on purpose.  Sweet, huh?</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-2psTUhVUs0I/T4z7EYFxyfI/AAAAAAAAWLw/j5M7fHY_Pyw/s1600-h/best%252520of%252520easter%2525202012%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="best of easter 2012" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-OCglwfWll0E/T4z7FOT7zwI/AAAAAAAAWL4/jjlOltBI-2w/best%252520of%252520easter%2525202012_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="487" height="329" /></a></p> <p>She was sure cute though.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ZeXobgE8NKk/T4z7F3jDRXI/AAAAAAAAWMA/3PT3UBXjTJA/s1600-h/easter%252520dress%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 70px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="easter dress" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4t7q1DB-1pFIx4l3FVEejn8qPPnYIuf6DWZ1ZGdLnt1-xs9AXBnpOMmNMU5mjkzZ5RtWB2BnXQx-CewzPP2mD8wr89Z3cVVBQjCXlWe1X9QQWri78l2uwJlskl9-avc1V63xj0R_6vP0/?imgmax=800" width="341" height="448" /></a>  </p> <p>We rock rock rock to sleep each afternoon and night.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-x_uW-gRRkeE/T4z7HAR4-jI/AAAAAAAAWMQ/z2UTupOV8xo/s1600-h/napper%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="napper" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-A_ns9OrVf3A/T4z7Hz_fB1I/AAAAAAAAWMY/ImiQNMjZndQ/napper_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="487" height="370" /></a></p> <p>Our friends that we met in China sent us this.  We want this for her room:</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-P73LDYNJANQ/T4z7I0ye1SI/AAAAAAAAWMg/o2kqYS1jk1M/s1600-h/joya%252520drive%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="joya drive" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Ak_AUHQyXzU/T4z7K2SZErI/AAAAAAAAWMo/HPP7ugHvflU/joya%252520drive_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="487" height="370" /></a></p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-59588384301769792502012-04-04T22:46:00.000-07:002013-01-04T13:53:56.866-08:00the bond that heals<p>If you didn't hear me in my last post, let me just say again how appreciative we are for all of the support we are receiving.  So many people are pursuing us through phone calls and emails and face to face visits.</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-JQtsSuIIXyg/T30xtYm3qiI/AAAAAAAAWKo/ty7xqSz3Yh4/s1600-h/P1010421%25255B9%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010421" align="right" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-inmCoSZqzB4/T30xt9_ewQI/AAAAAAAAWKw/lQChBDNBU4s/P1010421_thumb%25255B5%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="253" height="332" /></a> Of course, not one person can resist our daughter's cuteness.</p> <p> She is magical for sure.</p> <p>As she is exposed to more and more of our wonderful friends and social circles, I have found myself needing to put this post out there.</p> <p>Joya has been put through a significant trauma.  She wasn't physically abused, but her emotional life was turned upside down less than three weeks ago when we took her from her foster family and her birth country and culture.</p> <p>Although she greets most everyone with a "Ha-low" (hello) and has smiles and funny faces and songs that draw us all in, she is still learning who her forever family is.  If you have been reading our China posts, you know that initially she was clinging to Kenyon.  She didn't want anything to do with me for the first week.</p> <p>Slowly, she tolerated me and allowed me to be the food maker, poop checker, and snot wiper.  But she still almost exclusively wanted her dad.</p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtYwCwAU8r1v4mqefLnNFzy-hLEiI6vtXBqSKm4AOSqMtq1K_4TaibO39p_hdbq2WDyeuS4U5lLDhCbKnNZNfe6API-ow0-Up8znECCd1N259mTD3vpqA4DvaAvQxFdrHvi60VX83uyYc/s1600-h/P1010464%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010464" align="left" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-UEER-RUbwgE/T30xvdfFoyI/AAAAAAAAWLA/eGq6p8YiNGk/P1010464_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="256" height="337" /></a> Now that we are home, she is not panicked when Kenyon is out of sight.  In fact, he is out of town on business for two days and she and I have made some strides.  She comes to me for her needs and accepts affection and comfort from me - she has even initiated affection toward me, which is HUGE to me.</p> <p>When entering a room, 'normal' toddlers will usually hang back a bit and look to their parents for a 'read' on the situation.  They are cautious and will take cues from their parents on how they are to act in that environment, with those people.</p> <p>Because she has only been with us 2.5 weeks, Joya still looks to everyone as potential caregivers.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-qczKYqqbkwQ/T30xv2W4KnI/AAAAAAAAWLI/QYem0haDRsw/s1600-h/P1010442%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010442" align="right" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-rSAK3OzjFE4/T30xwgAQUKI/AAAAAAAAWLQ/Be7WWJXD00M/P1010442_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="252" height="331" /></a> Our main issue at this point in time is trying to help Joya to realize that we are her parents.  While we are so excited for everyone to meet her, I hope you will understand when we redirect her back to ourselves if she asks you to pick her up.  Please feel free to smile at and engage her, blow kisses and talk to her, but please resist the urge to scoop her up and squeeze her.</p> <p>I know, it is tough to resist.</p> <p>If she wants food, feel free to bring it to our attention, but it is really important that we be the ones to feed her or "deliver" her food to her.  It's not that we don't want to share her or that we don't want you to touch her.  It's that she needs to learn who her parents are and attach to us in a healthy way.</p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-04hazAt4fEI/T30xx4CfVhI/AAAAAAAAWLY/VIQmMds5AfI/s1600-h/IMG_0479%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="IMG_0479" align="left" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-g5RJ1h6U-qY/T30xyl9OIqI/AAAAAAAAWLg/hxPRSMnJuo8/IMG_0479_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="269" height="354" /></a>This takes time and we want to do it right.  We are hoping that you can all understand that we don't desire to be overprotective, but we want to prevent any long term emotional problems by doing this well.  When we see this secure attachment forming, we'll be encouraging her to have relationships with other adults as we do with our sons.</p> <p>So, please come see us and enjoy our entertaining children!  We know you'll do nothing but support us and thank you in advance for honoring our request.</p> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-58098360035134331732012-04-02T21:50:00.000-07:002013-01-04T14:01:20.946-08:00re-entry<p>Hello friends.</p> <p>I can tell you that the number of responses we received while we were in China, combined with the requests for updates within the five days we have been home have been heartwarming and overwhelming.  Thank you for your love and support during this life changing experience.  We woke up every morning in China and would immediately boot up our iPad to see what you all had to say to us while we were sleeping via blog, faceb**k, or email.</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-V4SFsr-6WHU/T3qBmKYnyVI/AAAAAAAAWJk/FGIWMD5rkSY/s1600-h/P1010100%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010100" align="right" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-XVsbynZXqFg/T3qBmz--pkI/AAAAAAAAWJs/Lf83La-fbQE/P1010100_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="334" height="254" /></a>You gave us a support network and a connection to "home," and we thank you sincerely.  We think your support is priceless.</p> <p>Our experience is going to take several (many?) posts to do justice, so while I have your ear (eyes?), I will tell you that I intend to do so.  Be patient with me because between my body's (as well as my daughter's) lagging time zone acknowledgement, as well as managing FIVE kids, will require an act of God to get regular blog posts out to you.</p> <p>Start praying people.  Um, I meant now... yeah, take a break and pray. ;-)</p> <p>So, in characteristic form, this sleep-deprived post will end in pertinent bullet points devoted to the "need-to-know" (or maybe the slightly entertaining):   (YES, I LIKE USING PARENTHESES TONIGHT!!!!!)</p> <ul> <li>We returned to find out that our generous friends from various circles have signed up to bring us dinners every other night until the end of April (and one supply of rockin' frozen banana <a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-_VCwkd_97Z8/T3qBnkw61hI/AAAAAAAAWJ0/5L7ejOdclcg/s1600-h/P1010004%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010004" align="left" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-VNgGzvfdu1g/T3qBoI0JyVI/AAAAAAAAWJ8/yBWTJ_XUnUc/P1010004_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a>pancakes to microwave on my many my crazy mornings).  My dear friend Deb, who also hosted my awesome toddler shower in January, coordinated it all and we are just in awe.  Side note:  I am the girl who will NEVER turn down an offer for a dinner I don't have to make myself!!!  All we can say is THANK YOU!!!!  Such a simple thing helps so tremendously (especially for this non-cook)!!!</li> <li>My dear friend Amy, who first introduced me to orphans with my trip to a Russian orphanage in 2006, has offered (okay, agreed to) creating Joya's "Gotcha Video" because she is UBER talented on the video-making-to-drive-you-to-tears-and-cherish-forever stuff.  Now, I just have to mail her the jump drive with the 5 GB of photos and video.  Put aside your box of tissues now.  No, I'm serious.  Do it!</li> <li>My mom and favorite aunt were here <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-hg7msJUS5To/T3qBo1isWiI/AAAAAAAAWKE/NQP8lvL0GPs/s1600-h/P1010268%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010268" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH4Umssmy9MCWatsIjMfM2C4wMHZSeBjYqF1vjFxMf8B3r4ACFiAM07Rw1v78nk-dc2RWookpy56648eUBbD9S2uQczk4-RU7rYAW6-PwAp7TwqkV8BiYP_1PjGJP7w1yZc__rBqUuX6w/?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a>for eight days before we came home (taking over for my only and cherished sister/BFF/soulmate to take care of our boys) and stayed until today.  We could not have made it through jet lag and Joya's crying nights without their help during the days.   How do you ever say an adequate thank you for such great sacrifices?  We are without words.  Mom - my husband is thinking of moving you in with us just for more of your sandwiches. </li> <li>Joya is doing well considering we have only had her with us for 15 days, counting the 4.5 days here at home.  My Beloved made an accurate observation that her "renewed" grief since we've been home is likely because she is so stinkin' smart (save for college or not?) and has pieced together the fact that she is now with the people she has seen in her photo book for months now, and realizes that she is never returning to live with her foster family.  She cries out in the night for her foster mom and expresses genuine anxiety and panic when she realizes that it is close to bed time (which we did NOT see at any of our stops in China).  Her grief is inconsolable and I am jealous for the newborn experience when I could comfort and nurse a child back to sleep.  Not so now.  I ride the wave and die to my own desires - purely by asking and receiving from God's grace (my BFF's will tell you that I am NOT a woman who functions well on sleep deprivation).  She has been through a pure trauma and I will not traumatize her even more.</li> <li>She is having GREAT days though.  Awake time is happy time filled with puzzles, playing, eating, and learning.  Very fun and we are really enjoying it - every one of us.</li> <li>The boys are LOVING it.  Kenyon has mentioned that if we didn't have the support of our little men for our new pink addition, he just might have thoughts of regretting the decision.  But he doesn't because he is just smitten with her in every way, shape, and form, and so are our men.</li> <li>Her attachment to her Daddy has lessened from panic to affection.  We both realize that it was really an attachment of safety and security, not of emotional connection.  That is okay with us for sure, but we are both looking forward to connecting with her in a GENUINE and growing love for each other.  It is growing and changing every day.</li> <li>I am so grateful for my in-laws and their willingness to honor my request to come from Pennsylvania for my boys' spring break.  These grandparents definitely wanted to meet our new addition, but they are going to be such a help to us while the boys are on break and Joya still needs quite a bit of attention in order to bond with her mommy and daddy.  My husband's mom has a special gift for cooking projects, treasure hunts, and group outings.  I asked, and they honored.  Again, thank you just doesn't cut it.</li> <li>I still have so much to say about our trip.  I want to tell you about the reality of adoption, the amazing organization <a href="http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/programs/healing-homes/true-childrens-healing-home/" target="_blank"><font color="#ff0000"><strong>"Love Without Boundaries"</strong></font></a><font color="#ff0000"><strong>,</strong></font> and the complete dissolving of our "American" impression of the nation and people of China.  So, at the very least, count on that from me.</li> <li>And pictures..... lots of pictures.  (C'mon, you know I love the shock value!!!)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpYtBnJof1Ofy45LfnwtDNjT2CnfHsxHp2IaixYBhMmcNKrPUA-5qM7mpm2yVluXVRetShcgNgCp0zKFMgpq4rpSdrojEyuEWCAuD8i0APU3wBe_zSbt-Umxts0vHvFxSr27XSkjvNMzw/s1600-h/P1010082%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010082" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-MHWYQEmIryo/T3qBqu1QyII/AAAAAAAAWKc/asDHILvV1vc/P1010082_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="440" height="335" /></a> </li> </ul> Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252898013030266951.post-51580969017429877872012-03-27T05:53:00.000-07:002013-01-04T14:01:20.942-08:00the good, the bad, and the just plain sadHow do we even put our Gotcha Day into words? This poor girl was loved so well that she is grieving very hard tonight. She was standing in the middle of the semi-busy room that we met her in. When we greeted her with a Mandarin "hello" she answered with an English "hello" and laughed with us when we laughed. She clapped and cheered for herself and the entire time she clutched the red photo book that we mailed to her several months ago. <br /><br />Her loving foster family had already taught her that we were Mama and Baba (daddy in Mandarin) and she definitely recognized us.<br /><br />The goodbye after we had signed our temporary guardianship paperwork was simply painful. The foster mother was barely holding back her tears as I was, but neither of us wanted to make it worse for Joya. <br /><br />We got back to the room and our guide helped us try to calm her down with food and drink. She has cried a lot though with the exception of when we Face Timed with Kenyon's parents. She was giggly and animated and took right to "swiping" the iPad. <br /><br />Then we returned right back to just plain sad. She much prefers daddy over me and I'm just happy she prefers someone. They are both finally asleep and I am typing this on my iPad which has no formatting ability at all. I'm going to upload a few pictures of our baby doll and then let my tears flow for her loss as I try to sleep. <br /><br />Thank you for all the comments and support. We are reading each one. <br /><br />Also, I was notified that my dear friend Ashley's mom passed away this morning from a long battle with cancer. Please pray for their family's tears as well. <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8SC-B7kzZwqpW26F4UuQdLDmYR6cSD7axPaZTcdO7LtWBze-LQXvLan0aFY6LrB7SkxgapU1athf6J3yR55gDkDxxn2FEx5egawf0dYkmEQz4BvItAe5mHc700uE-ovQJAbSOTa9YMbUD/s640/blogger-image--132443585.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8SC-B7kzZwqpW26F4UuQdLDmYR6cSD7axPaZTcdO7LtWBze-LQXvLan0aFY6LrB7SkxgapU1athf6J3yR55gDkDxxn2FEx5egawf0dYkmEQz4BvItAe5mHc700uE-ovQJAbSOTa9YMbUD/s640/blogger-image--132443585.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyD-C4ENdh0ZF-Z-NJtvfYEES4lGqvzPhpexbIr8-lzh9JgMQ9PNSfAxSoyECsT4rwEMHB82sWOhb7CVU90pRNMEkax2u2xnMGeegcXlxvU9bHLKtDwpheu3Scs0tlFg8uhgcrjRMC2BQa/s640/blogger-image-659914442.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyD-C4ENdh0ZF-Z-NJtvfYEES4lGqvzPhpexbIr8-lzh9JgMQ9PNSfAxSoyECsT4rwEMHB82sWOhb7CVU90pRNMEkax2u2xnMGeegcXlxvU9bHLKtDwpheu3Scs0tlFg8uhgcrjRMC2BQa/s640/blogger-image-659914442.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXP8DqIwbJRpENISv-_Dh1oeAQKp_AawwgrGkAsWph-iyDgq_oGdYSQ1dkPA6IRk6zwGDTUEfOzhbfl0pVJibYgXeO7Kfjcs0_F4MLSCe3V6VM4Lr3gQaTozck6Wl96sxI0CjrjJ4PjjN/s640/blogger-image--801476053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXP8DqIwbJRpENISv-_Dh1oeAQKp_AawwgrGkAsWph-iyDgq_oGdYSQ1dkPA6IRk6zwGDTUEfOzhbfl0pVJibYgXeO7Kfjcs0_F4MLSCe3V6VM4Lr3gQaTozck6Wl96sxI0CjrjJ4PjjN/s640/blogger-image--801476053.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOQ-HP33l0eNqHhGbTEN-APODtsckG32lB5Km7rCGJar6jKLTO99-yCU4DRv4zYc_2HDBnW_WoE8TaB6KN7euq9jCQfBpl8NVVYWM5lE9JxjrC68aQyR5urtmVOwNUVQAOJMcx13sG4bd7/s640/blogger-image-1393454903.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOQ-HP33l0eNqHhGbTEN-APODtsckG32lB5Km7rCGJar6jKLTO99-yCU4DRv4zYc_2HDBnW_WoE8TaB6KN7euq9jCQfBpl8NVVYWM5lE9JxjrC68aQyR5urtmVOwNUVQAOJMcx13sG4bd7/s640/blogger-image-1393454903.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXOtXLFfqeHZvXlHKTShxnjl_ut4zVPqfQVVQikHGJ6eUMBeHVslYw9y8VXOF2ywq5a54DMBYBoKh8Gk0DJK_Bvf_wR-45vHaYbB44ntpow_9hkTlbbVyBe-kWZk1bfLMdx_7OCoO3wLW7/s640/blogger-image--422719463.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXOtXLFfqeHZvXlHKTShxnjl_ut4zVPqfQVVQikHGJ6eUMBeHVslYw9y8VXOF2ywq5a54DMBYBoKh8Gk0DJK_Bvf_wR-45vHaYbB44ntpow_9hkTlbbVyBe-kWZk1bfLMdx_7OCoO3wLW7/s640/blogger-image--422719463.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4sBtnI5c7JC1MuG2A6O8wJ-jJqBFwvBrF8Zd8ycunj9lBLCAeqUl4W4GuRaUzCh98xPTewZKYbGjhMxoFrt2IjkbzW87VcPszWjtsb_WEgmiAISRA2WzjxpKNo2RgO2I4YDKqtg_u6As4/s640/blogger-image--424067681.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4sBtnI5c7JC1MuG2A6O8wJ-jJqBFwvBrF8Zd8ycunj9lBLCAeqUl4W4GuRaUzCh98xPTewZKYbGjhMxoFrt2IjkbzW87VcPszWjtsb_WEgmiAISRA2WzjxpKNo2RgO2I4YDKqtg_u6As4/s640/blogger-image--424067681.jpg" /></a></div>Messy and Wonderfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17784037855201508825noreply@blogger.com13