have a gift? use it!

We really are blessed with an amazing support network.  From beginning (and not ending), we have had families and individuals want to be involved in Joya's adoption.  Contributions of financial gifts, babysitting our boys, mountains of new clothes and hand-me-downs, and a seemingly unending meal train, have all overwhelmed us with unexpected love and support.

I will report to you that the last two nights have been much better as far as sleep is concerned, and whether it lasts or not, we're grateful.  She is a huge fan of her Mommy lately and even showed some stranger danger over the weekend - which warmed my heart.

The support has been consistent and amazing.  After reading my last post, a friend I know from Squirt's preschool pulled me aside and insisted on coming over to clean my house.  She is naturally organized, loves to declutter, (and claims) she enjoys cleaning.

"I can't help you with Joya's adjustment - I know that has to stay within your family - but I CAN clean, and I want to clean.  I'm coming on Monday," she insisted as I squirmed at the thought of her seeing, much less touching, our messes.

Yesterday was Monday and she came straight here after we dropped our boys off for preschool.  She brought her own cleaning supplies and three rolls of paper towels.  She requested some garbage bags to tote along with her and after I gave her a tour of my overwhelming messes, she proceeded to put my home into a clean Half Nelson.

She cleaned every bathroom in the house and decluttered and cleaned every bedroom.  I tried to help but Little Miss was not really helpful to have along.  So, as she ate her snacks in her chair, I cleaned my stovetop, wiped down my appliances, and came when called to sort through piles of treasures and trash.

To top it all off, she emptied out my fridge and washed the inside so it sparkled and smelled good again.

Reluctantly, she had to go pick up her kids at 2:30 and whined and complained like a kid about how disappointed she was that she didn't get to clean the entire house to her standard.

After she left, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and inspired to look for opportunities to use my gifts for others (um, my gifts are NOT cleaning, if you were wondering).

When you see an opportunity to help others - just do it.  Get past the discomfort and awkwardness and do it.  When I realized that Cara was not going to let up and I just gave up on hiding my messes, I was again blessed by receiving something I could never have done myself.

So, watch out world.  My house is clean.  I'm inspired.  And I'm grateful.  Thank you Cara!

manna and quail

I have been told by other adoptive families that sometimes the life changing part of adoption is not necessarily the addition of a child to the family, but the process of getting to that point.  We are about two months away from our travel date, and I am gaining clarity that the process is life changing for me.

I have touched on the financial aspect of this adoption being a major source of stress and strain (very common for adoptive families).  The timing was terrible from a personal planning standpoint, and I had very little trust from the beginning that God would PROVIDE.  I went into this thinking we would have to be creative and work hard to pull together the finances ourselves.

Ten months into our adoption journey, I have finally come to the realization that God has been gracious to give us just enough.  He has met every invoice with just enough money in our adoption savings account to pay it.

It started about two months into the process.  I was telling someone close to me about the stress of paying the home study fee of $1,400.  We were really only dipping our toe into the adoptive waters where fees were concerned, but it felt like a ton of money and I really didn't know where the rest was going to come from.  A week later, a check for $500 arrived in the mail with an encouraging note telling me how much this couple wanted to be invested in our adoption because of their great excitement for our future daughter.

We were blown away.  I felt so loved, but I didn't realize that this was just a glimpse of the waterfall of financial gifts that were to come:

• A sweet friend showed up on our doorstep and said their family wanted to be involved, handed us an envelope, hugged us, and left.  We opened the envelope to find it contained $1,000 cash.
• Our friends chose us to be the recipients of their adoption jar and surprised us with $283.77.
• A friend who doesn't even know me that well, offered me ALL of her airline miles for our trip to China.
• Out of the blue, a close friend of my husband's sent us a card with a message explaining how our decision to adopt had touched his family.  Inside the card was a check for $500.
• My sister and my step-mom held a fundraiser for us in the Midwest.  Last I had heard, they had raised somewhere around $500, which was unexpected and amazing.  When Amy visited in December, she presented me with the final check - $1,365.
• The very first people who sent the $500 check came back and offered us an interest-free loan for any amount if the need should arise.
• Someone else very close to us contacted us and offered to pay for a significant portion of our travel expenses.
• In addition to babysitting for us free of charge countless times, my neighbor collected spare change and coffee money into a vase on her countertop throughout the summer and fall.  Over Christmas break, she brought us over $87 to contribute to bringing Joya home.
• I opened a Christmas card and a check for $1,000 fell out of it.  There was even a heartfelt offer to contribute more if we need it.
• I opened another Christmas card and a check for $200 fell out of it.  They included a note expressing the excitement this family shared with us across many miles.

Shortly before Christmas, I wrote a check toward our adoption costs for $10,860.  I moved the money from our savings account where all these contributions were deposited and waiting with the money we saved each month.

And there was just enough.

We don't have any idea where the rest of the money for our trip will come from.  To be honest, we've spent time drowning in the stress of it all and succumbed to some major marital arguments about it.  I'm sure Satan had a party that day, because after all that I had seen, I still doubted.  I still wanted control and security.

Today I was pondering the lesson that God has clearly been teaching me.  The gap in my faith at the beginning of this journey is glaring to me now.

I opened my Bible to Exodus chapter 16.  "Then the Lord said to Moses, 'I will rain down bread from heaven for you.  The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day.  In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.' "  It goes on to tell how God provided quail (in the desert, go figure) each evening and Manna each morning - but only just enough for their immediate need so that they would continue to depend on Him.

Some of the Israelites collected more Manna than they needed, therefore disobeying God's instructions to depend on Him to provide food each day (trying to take over control).  "However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell."

I am now confident that if we began our adoption with the funds ready to write checks for all the costs, I would have relied on our own abilities and resources and NOT God's provision.  My heart would be inwardly focused, crawling with maggots, and foul with smell.

I would not have been transformed into a more generous person either.  I'll be honest and say to you that I doubt I would ever show up on a friend's doorstep and hand over $1,000.  That example of sacrificial generosity showed me the person I want to be going forward.

But apparently I needed to be the recipient of such generosity in order to learn the importance of being the giver.

My responsibility is to do my best with what I have been given, with both possessions and talents.  But, first and foremost, He wants me to depend on Him for each day, for each invoice, for each unknown, and for each fear.

I'm thankful that He has withheld abundance in this part of our adoption.  My life is so abundant in many ways, but He has given us the GIFT of a picture of being in the desert, doing what He wants us to do, totally dependant on Him for what is next.

He has given us just enough.

$283.77

Generosity breeds generosity.  This I am sure of.

Meet our friends the M's.  This family dove head first into the adoption world last year.  After deciding to adopt domestically, they endured the heartbreak of a failed adoption before their littlest guy A was born and came home with them, his forever family.

Since then, their eyes have been opened to the plight of the fatherless both here and around the world.  They are currently pursuing another adoption of a sweet brown skinned beauty (or maybe two), only internationally this time.

Although they are facing the tremendous costs of their own adoption, they keep a jar on their counter called the "Adoption Jar".  In it, they collect spare change and put money in it when they are consciously making a choice to forego a treat such a coffee or a meal out.

Their children have gotten very excited and involved.  They look for spare change on the sidewalks and in couch cushions and have at times chosen to donate some of their hard earned chore money to the jar.

Every so often, they choose a family in the adoption process or an orphan related cause to give the contents of the Adoption Jar to.

Then they take the empty jar and start all over again.

We enjoyed the M's company for dinner last Sunday and had no idea what they had in store for us.

$283.77 towards the cost of bringing Mrs. Nesbit home.

I was blown away and full of emotion when they unveiled it.  We are grateful beyond words and our kids immediately wanted to start a jar of our own.

Generosity breeds generosity.

can he really be three?

I've been hearing from more than one parent relative friend reader that I have been missed during my hiatus.  Unfortunately, my blog brings me no income, so it is not (yet?) a job for me.

Parenting my four boys, however, is my full time job and with our busy summer schedule of camps, swimming, playing, vacation, and some more playing, I simply released blogging from my list of priorities.  I really wanted my boys to enjoy their summer before they start public school this fall.

It felt good.  But I'm glad a few of you missed me.

I must rewind and commemorate our little Squirt's third birthday in late June.  Our favorite Aunt Louie came out for a nice long visit to celebrate and enjoy Park City in the summer.

Being the cheapskate that I am, I've never really put on big productions for any of my kids' birthday parties.  But this is likely my LAST chance to celebrate a three year old in our home, so.....

This year, via a raffle, I wound up with a gift certificate for use of our town's indoor field house.  A perfect place for lots of little ones to run around.  For a small fee, I added some bounce houses to the mix and proceeded to invite everyone who I thought I might be able to convince to come.

Squirt had been talking about an "Elmo Berday" for months, so Elmo was our theme.  Dorothy and Mr. Noodle even came along to decorate his cake.

We wound up with nearly 50 people.  We had a blast.

See for yourself.

The birthday boy.

Jenny, Deb, and Jessalyn with little Cordelia.

Christa, me, and Jenny

There were so many kids, it was impossible to get a picture of all of them.  Here's a handful:  Sawyer, Parker, Squirt, and Silas.

Sweet Maggie playing with Squirt.

The Hunter with his friend Ellie.  These two have been the best of friends since before they could walk.  Now they are starting FOURTH GRADE!!!!

A long line of cake eaters.

Gentry and Sawyer.  Little sister, big brother.

This was the point when Aunt Louie said, "Maybe I could just move out here and you could convince all your friends to keep having babies."

To which my friends all shouted, "Okay!  Yes!  Please do that!  How soon can you make that happen?"

Singing Happy Birthday to my little man.  This picture speaks volumes to me.  I tear up whenever I look at it because I can see how my heart felt.

Make a wish!

Yum!

These were the three women who helped me labor and birth this big boy.  Erin, Ashley, and Jenny.

Because we had such a large party, I had to carefully plan the subject of gift giving.  Squirt really did not need one more solitary toy, not to mention the stress and selfishness that comes out when a three year old opens gifts.

I also wanted to acknowledge in a tangible way our gratefulness for our healthy family, for living always in plenty, for never wondering if my boys were going to get enough to eat each day, and for so much more.

I made the request on the invitation to please not bring a gift for Squirt.  Instead, I gave the option to our guests to contribute to Compassion's Child Survival Program that my friend from college Julie and her husband have started.

We decided that we would match the funding that we received at the party and I am pleased to say that we will be donating a total of $170 toward these moms and babies in great need.

It was a wonderful way to top off our celebration.

gilbert

I sent out about 120 Christmas cards this past holiday.

I have no idea how many greetings my college friend Julie sent out, but I can only imagine that she sent just as many or more than I did.

What was interesting about Julie's letter this year was that it wasn't just about her adorable family.  It was so much more.

Julie and her husband volunteer with Compassion International by working to find sponsors for children in need.  A large portion of her letter was about a boy named Gilbert who lives in Kenya and needed a sponsor.  Her family had been praying for Gilbert - her young children had been looking at his picture every day and praying that he would get a sponsor.

Her letter didn't end with a simple "Happy New Year, " but it asked us to consider changing the life of this little African boy.

Rewind nearly nine years.

When my Beloved and I first became parents, my compassionate man decided that for every child we add to our family, we would sponsor a child in need.

Dickson, a little boy from Zambia, was our first sponsored child through World Vision.  We have written to and received letters from him over the years.  We still sponsor him each month and he is 21 years old.  I'm waiting for the day when we are contacted to say that his sponsorship has ended.  Usually, that happens when he has a wife and family of his own.

When Sauce was born, we started sponsoring Salile.  She lives in Malawi and has been our most communicative sponsored child.  Her letters usually come with a good story and lots of love.  My favorite was when she told us that while she was washing the family dishes in the river, she dropped one and was unable to retrieve it.  She thought she would get in trouble, but her mother simply laughed.

That letter made me lighten up with my own boys.  Salile turns 15 this year.

Rufus arrived two years later and together, my man and I couldn't pass up a little girl in Haiti named Mylove.  Mylove was born on our anniversary and will be nine this year.  She looks just as cute as her name.

Before Squirt was even conceived, we knew we were planning on a fourth child in our family, and we came upon the opportunity to sponsor my boy Vitya in Russia through a wonderful organization called Children's Hopechest.

I had the opportunity to actually go to Russia and spend a week with Vitya and it gave me new perspective on sponsorship.  He is a real boy with a real life and a real lonely heart.

Although I still have contact with Vitya through a Russian friend I made while visiting, the Russian government discontinued Hopechest's program in his area and our formal sponsorship ended.

So, back to Christmas.  We had four kids in our Christmas picture this year, but sponsoring only three children in need.

I waited several weeks before I emailed Julie.  I thought I could get Gilbert off my heart if I heard that someone snagged him soon after her letters went out.

What do you think she said?

Sadly for Gilbert, he was still waiting for a sponsor. 

Luckily for us, he was still waiting for a sponsor.

I didn't even say yes right away.  I told Julie I would get back to her and she told me that she and her family would be praying for our family.

Hmmm.  Didn't take long.  Pretty clear answer when God puts it in your mailbox at Christmas time and reminds you of a small promise you made when you started your family.

I have to tell you, our experience with Compassion has been awesome.  Gilbert's birthday was coming up (he looks like he's five, not TEN!) and we were able to go online and donate a gift specifically for his birthday.

Then we got our first letter from him.

For less than the price of one dinner out per month, we were able to add some love into Gilbert's life and hopefully make a significant impact on his family's future.

But it isn't about us or the money.  It is about the relationship we're forming.

Some things I immediately love about Compassion are:
- They typically only sign up one child in each family for sponsorship, but it helps the family as a whole.
- They don't support people within poverty, they enable them to work their way out of it by helping them start their own business and support themselves.
- Sponsors are able to attend a Compassion trip and actually meet their sponsored children.

Guess where I envision taking my men someday? :-)

Compassion has an awesome practice of sending bloggers to visit
their projects.

They are in Kenya now and I'm addicted to the updates and scanning their photos for a glimpse of my Gilbert.  They are showing me what I learned in Russia - that these children are real and while we are helping to rescue them from poverty, they can rescue us from wealth.

When wealth means giving $1.25 a day, I don't know anyone who couldn't be a part of the rescue.

Go check out what Kristen, MckMama, and the other bloggers have
to say.

And would you consider sponsoring a Compassion Child?

things I should have blogged about - hunger

It is almost becoming cliche' to say that Thanksgiving and Christmas should be about giving to others.

I believe it when I hear it, but am I really living it?  How many times has, "let's have a small Christmas this year," turned into another huge pile of presents around the tree?

Prior to Thanksgiving, our church planned to be an assembly site for Kids Against Hunger.  Not only did 400 people sign up to spend their Thanksgiving morning packaging food for hungry people, but our church also sent home samples of the food packs for families to "fast" from our American diets prior to turkey day.

One packet of food provides a nutritious meal for six people and only needs hot water to prepare it.  Before I served it for dinner, I wanted my kids to watch the videos on the Kids Against Hunger website so they could know WHY we were doing this and who the food really goes to.

And for them to peek out of their little American window and see how much of the world has very basic needs that are not met.

They all huddled around my computer to watch, but The Hunter quickly began walking away.  When I told him to get his butt back here come join us please, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "I can't Mom.  It is just too sad."

I can't wait to take that boy out into the world someday soon.  I hope my 2006 trip to Russia was just the tip of a big family iceberg.

The dinner was actually pretty comparable to what is normally served around here.

We liked it, so it wasn't much of a sacrifice to eat it.  But it was a great reminder and discussion starter for our family to think about others who are hungry, cold, or even lonely.

Our church is currently exploring a partnership with an organization working in Africa.  My friend Amy sent me this video of a little glimpse of what is waiting there.

Russia just opened my eyes and my heart.  I want them to stay open and focused on the needs of others.

a hundred bucks can buy a home

Did you know that you can buy a home for a hundred bucks?

Yes you can.

A Hundred for a Home is trying to raise money for this family to move out of their small two bedroom apartment and into a home.

They are caring for their two terminally ill children.

A hundred bucks.  A little bit goes a long way.  Of course, they'll appreciate any amount, large or small.

How much is that Starbucks?

Looking for a place to spread some holiday cheer?  Head on over and buy a house.

Spare Change for a bald head?

My initial contact with the blogging world all started with my friend Erin's little nephew Finn. He was diagnosed with leukemia at just 17 months old. Finn is Sauce's age and ever since his diagnosis, I have thought about families affected by these horrible diseases and how they must feel, "why me?" I ask the question, "Why not me?" Why was it Finn and not Sauce? I don't know. I know we live in a fallen world and as a result we must wrestle with the evils in it, but I learned to hug my kids tighter and keep perspective during the tougher times of everyday parenting. I'm thankful that so far I've had healthy children, but I know that there is nothing special that qualifies me for that, and I will always keep moving through life with tenderness and appreciation because of it.

I followed his journey through chemo and I am thrilled to say that he is cancer free today. You can trace his journey at Finn's Caringbridge page. After I heard about his story, I soon started following about 15-20 Caringbridge pages and that eventually led me to keeping my own blog. So, I have a special place in my heart for Finn.

Well, Finn's parents Natalie and Eamonn support an organization called St. Baldricks. St. Baldrick's began as a casual conversation between friends and is now the world's--THE WORLD'S!--biggest volunteer-driven fundraising program for childhood cancer. In eight years, events have taken place in 18 countries and 46 US states, raising over $34 million, and shaving more than 46,000 heads. Thousands of volunteers shave their heads in solidarity of children with cancer, while requesting donations of support from friends and family. The money goes to hospitals for pediatric cancer research. Nationwide Children's Hospital, where Finn was treated in Columbus, and Denver Children's are both recipients of St. Baldrick's money. They also award research fellowships. Anyway, it's pretty cool to think that the very programs where Finn was being treated, and was a part of a study, receive the funds they're working to raise.

Eamonn is shaving his head again this year to raise money for St. Baldricks. If you feel like you could contribute to his soon-to-be chilly skull, here's the link to Eamonn's page (for some reason, I can't get the link to work directly... you must search for Eamonn R under participants).